VAN ZORN 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON 




Class ^5i3AJX 

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



VAN ZORN 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

NEW YORK • BOSTON • CHICAGO • DALLAS 
ATLANTA • SAN FRANCISCO 

MACMILLAN & CO., Limited 

LONDON • BOMBAY • CALCUTTA 
MELBOURNE 

THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA. Ltd. 

TORONTO 



VAN ZORN 



A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



BY 
EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON ^ 



N^m fork 

THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

1914 

All rights reserved 






Copyright, igi4 

By the MACMILLAN COMPANY 

Set up and electrotyped. Published September, 1914 

Copyright in GREAT BRITAIN, 
All acting rights reserved by the author 



SEP 24 1914 






TO 

HERMANN HAGEDORN 



VAN ZORN 



CHARACTERS 

VAN ZORN 
GEORGE LUCAS 
WELDON FARNHAM 
OTTO MINK 
MRS. LOVETT 
VILLA VANNEVAR 
JENNY 



ACT I 



ACT I 

Weldon Farnham's studio in Macdougal Alley, New York. In 
the rear is a long window, beneath which is a wide cushioned 
seat, extending from the left wall to a vestibule on the rights 
from which a door, front, opens into the studio. The door is 
hidden by a tall screen. Further dowtt on the right is another 
door, and still further down is an antique cabinet, upon which 
rests a bust of Shakespeare. To the left of the cabinet, well 
into the room, is a table, upon which are a few books and, 
among other objects, an ornamental cigar box of polished 
mahogany. Half way down the left wall, which is built 
diagonally into the stage, cutting of about one-third of the 
rear wall, is an open grate with a mantel. Well to the front, 
on the left, is an upright wheeling easel, upon which a framed 
portrait faces the rear. There are several chairs, for the most 
part plain and small; but one of them, near the table, to the 
left, is large and comfortable. 

The curtain rises, revealing Weldon Farnham and Otto 
Mink. Farnham is a well-conditioned and well-satisfied 
man of thirty, or a little more, with a certain complacent 
hardness about his face, which suggests an aggressiveness 
that does not really exist. He stands surveying Otto, a 
younger man — short, plump, pink and loquacious — who in 
turn stands surveying the picture on the easel. His hands 
are in his trousers pockets, and he stands from time to time 
on the tips of his toes during the process of his scrutiny, 

FARNHAM 

[As if amused] 
Well, Otto, aren't you going to say something? 
3 



4 VAN ZORN 

OTTO 

[Slowly, with a frown] 
So this is Villa Vannevar.* 

FARNHAM 
Not exactly. It's a picture of her. 
[Smiling] 
You don't care for it, I see. — Lucas and Petherick think 
it's rotten. 

OTTO 
Did Lucas say that? 

FARNHAM 

[Still amused] 
No, but he smoked it. He might as well have said it. 

OTTO 

[Leaving the picture and lighting a cigarette] 
You can't always tell what Old Hundred means — when 
he doesn't say anything. Or when he does, for that 
matter. 

FARNHAM 
[Smiling] 
I'm sorry, Otto, that you don't like the picture. 

OTTO 

[Showing his teeth] 
There's genius in it. Is that what you wanted me to 

say? 

FARNHAM 

But a poor likeness — eh? 
* Pronounced Vannee'-vr. 



ACT I 5 

OTTO 
Likeness? — Farnham, you make me sick. 
[Farnham scowls quickly and laughs] 
I beg your pardon, but you do, — just now, I mean. 

[With a snij] 
You and your pictures! 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing] 
Are they all so bad as that, Otto? 

OTTO 
[Irritated] 
I suppose it's you that I'm talking about, not your pic- 
tures. 

FARNHAM 
[With patronage] 
You don't seem to be improving matters very much. 
What have / done? 

OTTO 
[With afectionate disgust] 
You? You haven't done anything. Destiny, or some- 
thing or other, has done it for you. 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing] 
But I don't beheve much in destiny. I believe in work. 

OTTO 

You didn't work very hard to get the best girl in New 
York. 



6 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
If I didn't know you, Otto, I might be offended. 
[Laughing] 
What's the matter with you to-day, anyhow? 

OTTO 

\With all sincerity] 

I understand. You think I'm jealous, but I'm not. 
I'm not such a dam fool. 

FARNHAM 
Otto, don't be so impulsive. 

[He laughs] 

OTTO 

Impulsive? You don't know what the word means. 

\With a grimace] 

You might at least look glad, or say something foolish 

once in a while, — just to let a fellow know that you're 

human. 

FARNHAM 
[Seriotcsly] 
I'll take back a part of what I said. Otto. There may 
be a large element of destiny in my — we'll say my very 
great good fortune. 

[Laughing] 

But I wouldn't say as much as that to Van Zorn. 

OTTO 
Van Zorn? He's a fatalist, isn't he? 



ACT I 7 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing] 
I don't know just what he is. He's the best man living, 
and he's my best friend. 

OTTO 
[Cheerfully] 
And he's worth about how many miUions? 

FARNHAIM 

[With animation] 
I don't know. Twenty or twenty-five. I don't care 
much about that part of it. 

OTTO 
You know, Farnham, I believe you when you say that. 
[Moving to the Right] 
If I didn't, I shouldn't hang around your place any more. 
You think you wouldn't miss me if I didn't, but you 
would. I'm a tender shoot, and I'm delicate, and you'll be 
dam sorry when I'm dead. 

[Otto pauses before the bust of Shakespeare, looks at it thoughtfully, 
places his hat upon it carefully, and surveys the result with 
satisfaction. Farnham watches him with patronizing 
amusement. Presently, when the two men stand looking at 
each other, the bell rings] 

FARNHAINI 
[Looking at his watch] 
That sounds like Lucas. It can't be Mrs. Lovett — yet. 

OTTO 
It's Old Hundred, I'll bet a sequin. Let him in. 



8 VAN ZORN 

[Farnham admits George Lucas, who is a square-jawed and 
somewhat cadaverous looking man of thirty, with a melancholy 
and highly intellectual face. His clothes are well kept, but 
unmistakably the worse for wear, and there is a whimsical 
weariness in his manner that might be suggestive of latent 
tragedy. He looks at Farnham and Otto as if he expected 
them to say something] 

OTTO 

Good morning, Phoebus-Apollo. 

LUCAS 

[With a benignant smile] 
Good morning. 

[To Farnham, half quizzically] 
Good morning. 

[He looks at the decorated bust of Shakespeare, and then at Otto. 
He smiles once more and removes his hat, which Farnham 
takes and tosses on to window-seat] 

OTTO 
Have you come to join the celebration? 

LUCAS 
Celebration of what? 

OTTO 
Oh, I don't know. You take your choice. You might 
celebrate the publication of my new book, or you might 
celebrate the rotation of the planet Neptune — on his axis. 
Or, you might celebrate the engagement of our friend 
Farnham to the radiant Miss Villa Vannevar. 



ACT I 9 

[Motioning towards the picture] 
There she is— or, I should say, a picture of her. 

LUCAS 
[With gathering surprise and diffiadty] 
I have seen the picture, but I had not heard of the en- 
gagement. 

[Giving his hand to Farnham, but as if with unconscious reluctance] 
Farnham, let me congratulate you. 

FARNHAM 

[Taking his hand] 
Thank you, Lucas. 

[As Lucas goes towards the picture] 
I fear that some of us get rather more than we deserve in 
this life. 

LUCAS 
[Affecting indifference] 
Oh, I don't know about that. 

[Studying the picture] 
So this is Villa Vannevar. 

OTTO 
[Promptly, with his hands in his pockets] 
That's what / said. 

FARNHAM 

[Comfortably] 
Your congratulations are quite enough, Lucas. You 
needn't feel obliged to praise the picture. 



lO VAN ZORN 

LUCAS 

[Solemnly] 
I wasn't going to praise the picture. 

OTTO 
[Standing on his toes and grinning at Farntiam with satisfaction] 
' ' Heaven is not reached with a single bound . ' ' You can't 
have everything at once, Farnham, even if you are a 
genius. But you might give Lucas a drink, and you might 
give me a bottle of cold beer. 

FARNHAM 

[Amused] 
In the morning, Otto? Isn't this something new? 

OTTO 

[Nodding at the hust] 
Shakespeare did it, and I wish to do everything that 
Shakespeare did — so far as in me lies. 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing, as if Otto were a child] 
Well, all right, if I've got it. 
[He goes out at the right, Lucas leaves the picture, frowning to 
himself, and returns to Otto, who is standing near the corner 
of the vestibule. Otto turns Lucas gently and assists him 
towards the cabinet, from which Lucas takes out a bottle of 
whiskey and a glass, going with them to the table nearby. 
Farnham returns with a bottle of beer and a glass] 

FARNHAM 

[After a look at LucAsl 
Here you are, Stratford. 



ACT I II 

[Otto goes to the window seat] 
Don't you want some water, Lucas? 

LUCAS 
No, thank you. It won't be necessary. 

FARNHAM 

[With mild insistence] 
Better for the heart. 

OTTO 

[Prying the cap from the bottle] 
Lucas hasn't got any heart. 

[He pours out a glass of beer with care] 
Well, Farnham, you man of iron, morituri salutamus. I'm 
a tender shoot, and I shan't be with you very long. Nei- 
ther will Lucas, if he doesn't drink some water one of 
these days. 

[There is a sinister note in his last words, and it is evidently caught 
by the other men] 

LUCAS 

[With a dry flourish] 

Farnham, you are a man of parts, and once more I 
congratulate you. I'm a man of parts myself, as a matter 
of fact, but some of my parts don't exactly fit, and as a 
consequence 

[With a hard, insincere laugh] 

as a consequence, I — I rattle. Your health and happiness. 

[He drinks, and shivers a little] 
And now, 



12 VAN ZORN 

[Exploring the table] 
If you will give me a small cigar 

[He takes a large one from the box] 
I'll tell you what a great m-an you are going to be. 
[He puts back the bottle and moves again towards the picture] 

FARNHAM 
[Who has been watching Lucas with a patronizing smile] 
And now if you two fellows will kindly make yourselves 
at home, I'll be back in a little while. I'm going over to 
Petherick's to get some photographs of his comical bust 
of Poe for Mrs Lovett; and if anyone comes in while I'm 
gone, I'll trust you two to be agreeable. 

LUCAS 
[Nervously] 
But what does this mean, Farnham? If you expected 
visitors, why didn't you say so? 

FARNHAM 

[Soothingly] 
They are coming to see the picture in its new frame. 

[Hesitating] 
Of course you remember Mrs. Lovett — and Villa 
Vannevar? 

LUCAS 
[In a dry voice] 
Yes, I remember them. Villa Vannevar and I used to be 
rather good friends. 

[Indifferently] 

But I doubt if Mrs Lovett remembers me. 



ACT I 13 

FARNHAM 
[Ai the door] 
She must. 

LUCAS 

[Sitting down] 
Why do you say that? 

FARNHAM 

She must, — for you are not the kind that women forget. 

[He laughs and goes out, and Lucas follows him with his eyes. 
He remains for a time as if in retrospection] 

OTTO 
[From the window seat, after a pause] 
It seems to me that Farnham might have done a Httle 
better than that. 

[Lucas gives him a quick look] 
But I don't know, 

[In half soliloquy] 
perhaps he couldn't, after all. 

[Otto studies the beer-bottle as if it were a rare vase, and Lucas, 
leaning forward on his chair, rubs his fingers together thought- 
fully. 

OTTO 
Phoebus, 

[Lucas looks at him] 
wake up. 

LUCAS 
I am awake. 

OTTO 
The devil you are. 



14 VAN ZORN 

[Getting up and stretching himself] 
Let's have another look at Farnham's picture. Petherick 
thinks it's rotten. 

[Mercifully] 

But then, Petherick's a sculptor. 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 
Can't sculptors tell when things are rotten? 

OTTO 
[Briskly] 

Apparently not— if we are to judge them by what they 
have done for our fair city. 

LUCAS 
[Rising and smiling 
You are severe this morning, Otto. 
[In a fatherly way] 
I hope you aren't going to be severe with me. 

OTTO 

[Looking at him sharply] 
I was going to be — but I won't now. 

[Frowning before the picture] 
So this is Villa Vannevar. 

LUCAS 

[Smiling 
That's what / said. 



ACT I 15 

OTTO 

[Still frowning] 
Mrs. Weldon Farnham. 

[Throwing up his hands] 
Lucas, I can't make it sound right. 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 

What's wrong about the sound of it? Farnham is a 
good fellow, isn't he? 

OTTO 
[With emphasis] 
He's a fine fellow; and he's one of his own best friends. 

LUCAS 

[Smiling grimly] 
Well, that makes for prudence — and for longevity. 

OTTO 
[Drily] 

Very good indeed. What do you think of this picture, 
Phoebus, anyhow? 

LUCAS 

It's a pretty good picture. All things are relative. 

OTTO 

[Promptly] 
Then you agree with Petherick. 

LUCAS 

Not necessarily. 



i6 VAN ZORN 

[He looks around him uncomfortably] 
But I don't believe, Otto, that I'll stay here any longer. 

[Otto moves toward him] 
You can entertain these women without me. 

OTTO 
[Backing Lucas into his chair] 
There! You try that for a while. Farnham said you 
were to stay here till he came back. 

[He takes another chair and sits facing Lucas] 
Phoebus, you may kick me if you like, but I'm sorry for 
you. I'm dam sorry. 

LUCAS 
\With a doubtful scowl] 
What do you think you are talking about, Otto? 

OTTO 

[Plunging 
Phoebus, I like you. I like you a lot. I've liked you for 
ten years — ever since I met you. 

[Pause] 
So far as I count for anything, I suppose I'm as good a 
friend as you have in the world. 

LUCAS 

[Pleased and embarrassed] 
I'm glad to hear you say that. Otto. 

OTTO 

\With more confidence] 
You'd better wait till I'm done with you. 



ACT I 17 

LUCAS 

[Smiling] 
Go on. I'm at your service. 

OTTO 
[Clasping his knee and becoming very serious] 
Very well. Tell me when to stop. 
[Pause] 
Phoebus, how much does Farnham know about you? 
Did he know anything about you before he came to 
New York? Let me see, that was four years ago. 

LUCAS 
[Surprised] 
Probably not. 

OTTO 

Well, then, did Farnham know Villa Vannevar before 
he game to New York? 

LUCAS 
[Surprised] 
Not to my knowledge. 

OTTO 

Am I getting too personal? 

LUCAS 
[Fighting with his curiosity] 
You haven't said anything injurious. 

OTTO 
Good. Now does Farnham . . . Oh, the devil! I 
suppose I ought not to ask you this, but I'm going to, all 



l8 VAN ZORN 

the same. Does Farnham know that Villa Vannevar cared 
more for you at one time than she cares now for any other 
man living? 

LUCAS 

[Rubbing his hands slowly] 
I rather think, Otto, that you may as well stop. 

OTTO 
Are you going to kick me? 

LUCAS 
No. Your motive is good, and I try to judge a fellow 
by his motive. 

[Taking a cheap watch from his pocket, he looks at it and shakes it 

at his ear] 
What time is it? 

OTTO 

[With much vigor] 
Phoebus, you can't put me off. I've got you now, and 
I'm going to tell you what I think of you. 

LUCAS 

[Shaking his watch at his ear] 
What do you think of me? 

OTTO 

[Nettled] 
Well, I think you are going to the devil, for one thing. 

LUCAS 

[Grinning 
Only going? I was told the other day that I had 
arrived — with banners. 



ACT I 19 

OTTO 
Did Farnham tell you that? 

LUCAS 
That was Farnham's hidden meaning. 

OTTO 
[After a pause] 
Well, Phoebus, I can't speak for Farnham. But there 
was a time when the rest of us would have said that you 
had empires up your sleeve. 

[Impressively] 

LUCAS 
[Looking at his sleeve] 
Then they must be there yet. I've never shaken them 
out. 

OTTO 
\}A^ith more fervor] 
They may be there, but all the devils in hell, with 
microscopes, couldn't find them there this morning. As 
you are fond of reading, you may have gathered, from 
various authorities, that empires don't run themselves, 
exactly. When they do, they run down. 

LUCAS 
Like my watch. 

[He shakes it, and returns it to his pocket] 

OTTO 

[Getting up with a sigh] 
Phoebus, why don't you try to find out where you are, 



20 VAN ZORN 

and stop pickling your brain with rum, and quit be- 
wildering your inferiors, and go back to school? If you 
don't, there will be a funeral one of these days, and you 
won't have to walk. And what I say is all as true as God 
made great whales and little squirrels. 

LUCAS 

[Rubbing his knees and grinning] 
Good. Say on. 
[Otto gives a snort of disgust and moves towards the bust of 
Shakespeare, his hands in his trousers' pockets and his face 
puckered with a scowl] 

LUCAS 
[Watching Otto with weary amusement] 
Otto, tell me something more about this much-travelled 
Odysseus of many devices, whom Farnham calls Van 
Zorn. 

[Otto removes his hat from the bust] 

I thought you would do that, Otto. 

[Otto puts his hat on his head and gives Lucas a look of 
discouragement] 

Tell me about Van Zorn, Otto, and take off your hat. 
[Otto spins his hat at Lucas, who catches it deftly and throws it 

over to the window seat] 
I understand that he's a fatalist— or something or other. 
Where does he live? 

OTTO 
[Piqued] 
He doesn't live anywhere. He doesn't have to. He's 
worth about twenty-five millions. 



ACT I 21 

LUCAS 
That isn't very much. Is he in town? 

OTTO 
[Impatiently] 
Yes, he's in town. 

LUCAS 
How long is he going to stay? 

OTTO 
[Wearily] 
How the devil do I know? I suppose he'll stay as long 
as he likes the place. That's what I should do, if I had 
twenty-five millions. 

[Becoming more rancid] 
And then, if the fancy seized me, I should pack my suitcase 
and go in for the irrigation of Mesopotamia. 

LUCAS 

[Still leaning forward and rubbing his hands slowly] 
When is Farnham to be married? 

OTTO 
I don't know. Didn't you hear about the engagement? 

LUCAS 

[Getting up and speaking without apparent interest] 
No ... I don't hear about things any more. 
[The bell rings and Lucas turns with a start] 
I wonder who that is. 

[He takes his watch from his pocket nervously and pretends to look 

at it\ 



22 VAN ZORN 

OTTO 

[Smiling as he looks at his own watch] 
If you wish to know what time it is, it's five minutes to 
twelve. 

[Otto opens the door and admits Mrs. Lovett and Miss Villa 
Vannevar. Mrs. Lovett is a short lady of fifty, with a 
'manner that is slightly affected, but not comically so. She 
is dressed in black, and in a manner calculated to suggest 
rather than to express mourning. Villa Vannevar is rather 
tall and very handsome, inclined to be unconventional and at 
times careless, naturally vivacious, but evidently not satisfied 
with her existence. She wears a walking suit of bright gray, 
with a smart hat] 

OTTO 
[With familiar mock-ceremony] 
You are to come in — both of you — and you are to make 
yourselves entirely at home. 

[To Mrs Lovett] 

The genius of the place has gone to get some photographs 
of your friend Petherick's bust of Edgar A. Poe, the 
eminent Uterary man. 

[Turning to Lucas, who has found something hiteresting on the 

table] 

Both of you remember Mr. Lucas, I suppose. 

VILLA 

[7;^ a voice of friendly surprise] 

• Why it's George ! 

[She goes to him and gives him her hand, which he takes slowly, and 
holds a little longer than he means to] 

Why, Auntie, it's George! 



ACT I 23 

[To Lucas] 
You remember my aunt, don't you, George? 

LUCAS 
I remember Mrs. Lovett very welL 

MRS. LOVETT 
[without warmth] 
Of course I remember Mr. Lucas. 
[To Otto] 
And now, Otto, you bad cliild 

[Holding up her finger] 
oh, yes! I liave read your wic]ied books, and I l^now just 
how bad you are 

[Laughing] 

— Vi]la and I are perishing to see the picture in its new 
frame. 

[To Villa] 

Shall we wait for dear Weldon to come back? Artists are 
so queer, you know, and 

[To Otto, with a smile] 
so very sensitive. 

OTTO 

[Beaming] 
Very sensitive indeed. Have you read my last one — 
Au Cinquieme? It came out day before yesterday. 

VILLA 

[Amused] 
I'm sorry, Otto, but we haven't even seen it. 



24 VAN ZORN 

OTTO 
[Briskly] 
In that case, 

[To Mrs. Lovett] 
you cannot possibly know how bad I am. — As for the frame, 

[Moving towards the picture] 

the frame is a beautiful piece of work. In point of fact, I 

don't quite see how you are going to get along without it. 

[Mrs. Lovett follows him and they stand together before the picture. 

Lucas and Villa remain near the table, she becoming very 

serious and he pretending, not very well, to take a humorous 

view of the situation] 

MRS. LOVETT 
[After a silence] 
Aren't you coming to see yourself. Villa? 

VILLA 
I'll watch you and Otto — and talk with George. I know 
just how the picture looks, and I haven't seen George for a 
thousand years. 

[Mrs. Lovett frowns a little and Otto smiles to himself signifi- 
cantly] 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Looking at the picture] 
Oh— dear! 

[She sighs and looks at Otto, who stands on his toes for a moment 
and then shakes his head] 

VILLA 

[Turning from Lucas to Mrs. Lovett, and laughing 
What's the matter, Auntie? 



ACT I 



25 



MRS. LOVETT 
[With ample resignation] 
I don't know what to say about it. 
[She looks at Lucas, who does not see her, and then looks at Otto] 
You say something, Otto. I simply don't know how. 

OTTO 
I would gladly be of assistance, my dear Madam, but 
I don't know how to say anything about it either. 

[Looking at Lucas] 
But there's Lucas; he knows how to say something about 
it. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[After a quick frown] 
Tell me the truth, Otto. 

[She sighs again] 

VILLA 

[Turning and laughing] 
If you do, Otto, I'll tell Weldon everything you say. 

OTTO 

[Looking from Villa to Mrs. Lovett, with a grimace] 
You seem to know the truth already. If you don't, I 
cannot tell a he. 

[Very distinctly] 
In the last analysis, then, the thing is worse than— than 
oflSce-hours. 

VILLA 
\With determination] 
Vm going to say something now. I'm going to ask Otto 



26 VAN ZORN 

to turn that picture to the wall until Weldon comes back. 
I won't have it abused. 

[To Lucas, with sorry laugh] 
The only trouble with that picture is that it isn't me. 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 
Yes, that is one trouble with it. 

[Villa looks at him strangely, and laughs again as before. Mrs. 
LovETT looks at her with mild disapproval. Otto grins, 
and begins to sing the swan-song in Lohengrin with subdued 
satisfaction as he turns the easel. As Otto comes hack to 
the center of the stage, the bell rings, and all appear to he 
suddenly disturbed] 

MRS. LOVETT 
Now who in the world is that? We don't want people. 

LUCAS 

You might find out, Otto. 

OTTO 
Aye, aye, sir. 
[Becoming more exuberant, he propels himself towards the door 
with a series of quasi-nautical hitches, trumpeting with his 
lips the opening chorus in " Pinafore.^^ Lucas watches him 
with a weary smile, Villa Vannevar laughs, and Mrs. 
LovETT looks bewildered. Otto opens the door and stands 
back, in whimsical obeisance] 

OTTO 
You may come in, for I know your name. Your name 
is Van Zorn, and I've seen you before. 



ACT I 27 

[Van Zorn Enters. He is rather tall, well built, bronzed, and 
has powerful, penetrating eyes. His manner, though court- 
eous and possibly a bit too dignified, is also a little heavy. 
He seems to be in constant fear of being taken too seriously; 
and yet he is a very serious person, inclined to a certain in- 
tangible melancholy that is easy to recognize but difficult to 
describe. His voice is rich, deep, and musical, his laugh is 
rare but pleasing, but his smile is frequent and engaging. 
There is at times something childlike in his acceptance of un- 
usual situatiojts and events, and there is something almost 
unreal in his easy persistence along lines that few men would 
ever think of pursuing. While he is for the most part self 
explanatory, there remains a fringe of mystery about him to the 
end] 

VAN ZORN 
[Taking Otto's hand and smiling] 
And I should remember your name. Your name is . . . 

OTTO 
[Distinctly] 
Mink. 

VAN ZORN 

[With another smile] 
Indeed? Then you must have two names, 

OTTO 
[As the two move into the room] 
I have. The grand total is Otto Mink. 

VAN ZORN 
I remember now that Farnham called you Otto. I am 
very glad to see you again. 



28. VAN ZORN 

OTTO 

[With expansion] 
And now it devolves upon me to present a few of Farn- 
ham's friends. Here, for example, is Mrs. Lovett. 
[She smiles at Otto, and receives Van Zorn with unqualified 
approval] 

And here is Miss Villa Vannevar. She's another friend of 

Farnham's, and you've met her before. 

[Villa gives Van Zorn her hand, and he looks at her, in spite of 
his efforts, as if he were fascinated. The two appear to be 
very serious, until Otto presents Lucas, when she laughs — 
but with no great amount of spirit] 

And here is Mr. Lucas. Sometimes we call him Phoebus — 
on account of his sunny disposition. 

[Van Zorn shakes hands with Lucas with great cordiality and 
looks at him as long as he looked at Villa Vannevar, but 
with an entirely different expression. There is a kindness 
and a certain satisfaction in his eyes that surprises Lucas 
and embarrasses him] 

That object over there is a portrait of Miss Vannevar, but 
we are not to see it again until Farnham comes back. You 
won't like Farnham any better after you see it. 

VAN ZORN 
[Amused] 
That doesn't sound altogether complimentary to 
Farnham. 

OTTO 
[Cheerfully] 
It isn't. 

VAN ZORN 

Perhaps I don't quite understand you. 



ACT I 29 

OTTO 
You will. 

VAN ZORN 

[With a look of amused inquiry at Lucas] 
You surprise me. I have come to think of Farnham as 
one of the best of living painters. 

OTTO 
[With his hands in his trousers^ pockets] 
He is. That's partly what ails him. 

MRS. LOVETT 
Why, Otto, — you ridiculous child! 

OTTO 
If you don't believe me, ask Phoebus — I mean Lucas. 

VAN ZORN 
[To Villa, smiling] 
I think I'll wait and ask Farnham himself. 

VILLA 

[Laughing] 
He may bite you. 

VAN ZORN 
I know Farnham's bite. It isn't very dangerous. 

VILLA 
He thinks it is. 

VAN ZORN 

[Moving nearer to her, as if drawn] 
How soon do you expect him back? 



so VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

[Suddenly serious] 
At any moment. 

[Lucas begins a silent investigation of the studio, while Mrs. 
LovETT and Otto talk together, Mrs. Lovett apparently 
amused and perhaps a little scandalized by his childlike 
narrations. She looks frequently and almost eagerly at Van 
ZoRN and Villa, who stand near the table. They seem to be 
laboring under a mysterious constraint, which Vilia tries 
to put of with an assumed light humor] 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 

You talk as if you thought me a doubtful character. 
I trust that Farnham hasn't given me one. 

VILLA 

[Nervously] 

Weldon has praised you so much that we are all a little 
afraid of you. 

VAN ZORN 
I shall have to stop that. 

[Pause] 
Do you remember the day when you and Mr. — 

[Glancing at Otto] 
Mr. Mink — went over my boat with Farnham and me? 

VILLA 
Of course I do. That was the day before you sailed 
away to the other side of the world. 



ACT I 31 

VAN ZORN 
[Earnestly] 
Thank you for remembering that day. 

VILLA 
[SHU nervous] 
I remember the day — and I remember that you fright- 
ened me somehow. 

[Laughing] 

You made me think of Captain Kidd and the Flying 
Dutchman — both together. 

VAN ZORN 

[Smiling] 
I don't know about Captain Kidd, but I suppose I am 
a sort of Dutchman. 

VILLA 
[With a little shiver] 
Not the Flying Dutchman — I hope? 

VAN ZORN 
[With a quaint seriousness] 
No — not exactly. As a matter of fact, I have undertaken 
to be a doctor. 

VILLA 
[Bewildered] 
Medicine, Philosophy or Divinity? 

VAN ZORN 
[With a melancholy laugh.] 
All three, in a measure — and I shall be my own patient. 



32 VAN ZORN 

[Quite seriously] 

I must have a place in the scheme of existence, and I have 
had a presentiment that I am soon to find it. 

VILLA 

[Drawing back a little and laughing] 

You? ... A place in the scheme of existence? . . . 
I'm beginning to be positively creepy. I thought you had 
everything. 

VAN ZORN 

[Shaking his head] 

Then you are greatly mistaken. I have nothing — yet. 

VILLA 

[Impulsively] 

What a very unfortunate person ! I beg your pardon a 
thousand times, but you make me laugh. 

VAN ZORN 
You needn't be apologetic, and you needn't laugh. 

VILLA 

[Bewildered] 
What — are you going to do — first? 

VAN ZORN 

[Smiling faintly] 

I have thought of several plans to make my existence 
worth while, but I am not yet sure of any of them. 



ACT I 33 

VILLA 

[With a sigh and a laugh] 
Well, I don't know what you expect me to say. You 
don't speak a language that a poor girl can understand. 

[She looks over her shoulder and meets the eyes of Lucas, who by 
this time has made a circuit of the studio and taken a casual 
inventory of its contents. She looks at him, smiling, and then 
at Van Zorn, who is looking at Lucas with a slight frown 
that is both friendly and inquiring] 

VILLA 

I wonder if George— Mr. Lucas— could be of any service 
to you. He isn't a doctor, but he knows almost everything. 

VAN ZORN 
[Pleasantly, after a slow nod at Lucas] 
Does he know himself? 

LUCAS 
[With a shrug] 
I regret to say that he does. 

VAN ZORN 

[To Lucas, distinctly] 

Then Miss Vannevar is right. The man who knows 
himself does know almost everything. 

[There has been a brief pause in Otto's animated conversation 
with Mrs. Lovett, and now Otto looks keenly at Villa, 
Van Zorn, and Lucas] 



34 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

[Laughing at Otto] 
The man who knows himself must be inspired. 
[To Van Zorn] 
Otto couldn't keep from being inspired if he tried. Otto 
is a poet. 

OTTO 
[Grinning] 
Do I look like one? 

VILLA 
You look like a rose of Sharon, Otto. 

[Glancing towards the door] 
I thought I heard something. 

OTTO 

[Holding up his finger] 

Hist ! There it is again ! 

[Going to the door mysteriously] 

It's the Thing itself. 

[Farnham is heard in the vestibule, singing carelessly to himself 
the air of the Cojispirators from ''La Fille de Madame Angot.'' 
Otto opens the door with a flourish, and Farnham soon 
enters] 

OTTO 

You are late, and the show is half over. 

[Putting his hands into his trousers^ pockets] 

The next thing on the programme will be the eminent 
comedians. Van Zorn and Lucas, in "The Old Oaken 
Bucket." Song and dance. 



ACT I 35 

MRS. LOVETT 
[With languid primness] 
Otto, you might take your hat and go home. 

FARNHAM 
[Taking Mrs. Lovett's hand] 

No, don't send him home. He can't help it. The trouble 
is in his brain. 

[He shakes hands with Villa and stniles] 
But you 

[Shaking hands with Van Zorn and looking at him with eager 
satisfaction] 

— you might have let a fellow know that you were coming. 

[looking around] 

I suppose there is no need of introductions. 

OTTO 

[Beaming] 
None whatever. We are all happily acquainted. 

FARNHAM 

[After giving Otto a patronizing scrutiny] 

There are the photographs, Mrs. Lovett, and if you 
don't find them sufficiently bad, it won't be Petherick's 
fault. Poor Poe ! 

[Nodding to Van Zorn] 

He could tell you something about Destiny, if he were 
alive. 

[He nods at the envelope] 



36 VAN ZORN 

MRS. LOVETT 

[Looking at one of the photographs] 
Poe was a wonderful creature. 

FARNHAM 

There are no records to prove that he ever denied it. 

[To Villa, with his most confident smile] 

Have you seen the picture, and the frame? 

[He gazes at the easel, frowns for a moment, and then laughs drily] 

Who turned it to the wall? Did you do that, Lucas? 

VILLA 
[Quickly] 
Otto did it. I told him to. 

FARNHAM 

[Rather drily] 
That was very considerate of you. 

[He moves the easel back to its former position] 
Well, there it is. 

[Confidently] 

And now you may all do your worst. Otto and Lucas 
needn't say anything, for I know what they think already. 

OTTO 
[Cheerfully] 
You may not. We've never told you. 

FARNHAM 

[With a short laugh] 
Well, if you haven't, you needn't. 
[Van Zorn stands before the picture and studies it ominously] 



ACT I 37 

FARNHAM 
Well, which is it — ^life, or death? 

VAN ZORN 
[With annihilating deliberation] 
I should say that it was neither. I am not satisfied 
with it. 

FARNHAM 
\With a dry laugh] 
Were you ever entirely satisfied with anything? 

VAN ZORN 
[Gently] 
We are not here on earth to be entirely satisfied, are we? 

FARNHAM 
Oh, I don't know about that. 

VAN ZORN 
I hope most sincerely that you are not satisfied "^ith this 
picture. 

FARNHAM 
I thought it had a kind of merit. 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning 
It has. It's a work of genius, if you like. 

OTTO 
[Promptly] 
That's what / said. 



38 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
[Patiefitly] 
I know it Otto — And now I should like to hear what 
Mrs Lovett has to say. 

MRS. LOVETT 
But, dear Weldon, you can't possibly care what I 
think — a poor old thing like me. 

[Looking through her glasses] 
Of course you have flattered the poor child almost to 
death. 

FARNHAM 
[Genially] 
I don't see how you can say so. 

VILLA 
[To Van Zorn and Lucas] 
Help! help! 

MRS. LOVETT 
But you are a wonderful creature, all the same, and I 
shall have to forgive you. Two very intelligent men 

[Beaming on Otto] 
have called you a genius, and surely that should be enough 
for one morning. 

OTTO 
Three, Mrs. Lovett, Phoebus — I mean George — called 
him one before you came in. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[After a look at Lucas] 
I am very glad to hear it. 



ACT I 39 

OTTO 

[Briskly] 
I knew you would be. 

[Going to Lucas] 
And now, Phoebus— I mean George— it's time for you 
and me to go out and have something to eat. I have a 
premonition that you and I are in a way to become super- 
fluous. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[With motherly tolerance] 
Otto, are you going to talk nonsense all the rest of your 
life? 

OTTO 
[Spinning his hat on the end of his stick] 
If youth but knew. 

VILLA 

[With animation] 
Why can't we all go out and lunch somewhere together? 
I've got some money. 

MRS. LOVETT 

You forget, my child, that we are to have luncheon 
with Mrs Dyce. 

OTTO 

Give my love to Mrs. Dyce, and to the Pomeranian 
twins. And now Phoebus and I are going over to the 
Brevoort House and have something with a squeezed hme 
in it. After that we shall have a morsel of bread, and 
Phcebus will tell me what he thinks of my new book — Au 
Cinquieme, I call it. 



40 VAN ZORN 

[To Villa] 
You haven't seen it. Are you going to be at home this 
afternoon? 

VILLA 
[Laughing] 
Yes, Otto, — to you. 

OTTO 
All right. I'll bring around a copy oi Au Cinquieme, 
[cheerfully] I wrote it with my heart's blood. 

[To Lucas, briskly] 
Come along, Phoebus. 

VILLA 

[Going to Lucas and holding out her hand] 
Good-bye, George. 

LUCAS 

[Taking her hand and speaking strangely] 
Good-bye. 

VAN ZORN 
[Giving Lucas his hand] 
I am very glad to have met you, Mr. Lucas — very glad 
indeed. 

[He speaks with a peculiar earnestness that causes Mrs. Lovett 
and Farnham to look at each other. But Lucas appears to 
be abstracted and indiferent] 

OTTO 

[At the door, declaiming solemnly] 
" So now for a season we leave you, taking with us our 
various musical instruments. Presently we shall return, 



ACT I 41 

bringing with us nothing but our accordeons." Auf 

wiedersehen. 

[Otto and Lucas go out. Mrs. Lovett and Farnham look 
after Otto and laugh. Van Zorn looks at Villa Vannevar , 
who stands gazing at the floor. Her face is troubled and she 
bites her under lip as if to keep it under control] 

MRS. LOVETT 
[To Farnham] 
Otto should be ashamed of himself. 

FARNHAM 
He will be — sometime. 

MRS. LOVETT 
He is going to take that poor unfortunate Mr. Lucas 
over to the Brevoort House and give him liquor. 

FARNHAM 

\With an unfeeling grin] 
I don't see any way out of it now. As for poor Mr. 
Lucas, this man 

[Looking at Van Zorn] 
will tell you that he is in the hands of Destiny — gin-ricl^eys 
and all. 

\With a laugh] 

We can do nothing for him. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Rising with a sigh] 
It may be so, poor fellow. If he were not so thoroughly 
impossible, he would be rather interesting. 

[Villa looks at her almost angrily] 



42 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
May I venture to ask, Mrs. Lovett, if you are final in 
your judgment? 

MRS. LOVETT 

[With apologetic vivacity] 

Dear me, no ! I don't judge anything— not even a fly. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling, as if with effort] 
I am very glad, for I have begun to believe that Mr. 
Lucas and I may be of service to each other. 
[Villa looks at him eagerly] 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Puzzled and not wholly pleased] 
I don't understand what you mean, and I'm not going 
to try. 

VAN ZORN 
I am not always sure that I understand myself. 

VILLA 

[With a nervous laugh] 

I'm glad to know it, for I'm not either. 

[To Mrs. Lovett] 

Come along, Auntie, or Mrs. Dyce's Httle dogs will eat 

up all the luncheon. 

[Laughing] 
Pomeranian twins ! 

[Giving her hand to Van Zorn] 
Goodbye . . . I'm glad you aren't the Flying Dutchman. 



ACT I 43 

VAN ZORN 
[Holding her hand] 
Nothing half so distinguished, I assure you. 

VILLA 

[Not wholly at ease] 
Or so unfortunate. 

VAN ZORN 
[Letting her hand go, slowly] 
I am not so sure about that. 

VILLA 
Weldon thinks you are the greatest man in the world 

[To Farnham, laughing] 
-except himself. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Beaming] 
And the most wonderful creature. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
Weldon has made a mistake. 

VILLA 
You are too modest. 

VAN ZORN 
Do you think so? 

VILLA 
[With the same constrained laugh] 
Perhaps I don't know you well enough to say. 



44 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
We may come to know each other better in the future. 

VILLA 
I feel sure of that. I should like to know you better. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
You may be disappointed in me. 

VILLA 

[As before] 
If I am, I'll tell you so. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Who has been watching the two with bewildered approval] 
She means that she will say, on all occasions, the first 
thing that comes into her silly little head. — But we must 
go now. Good-bye. 

[They shake hands. Van Zorn and Villa Vannevar look at 
each other with a smile of half-fascinated intensity. The two 
women go] 

FARNHAM 

[Coming from the door and touching Van Zorn on the shoulder, 
laughing curiously] 
Well, Childe Harold, for a sedate and rather melancholy 
Ancient Mariner, you seem to be getting on. 

VAN ZORN 
[Standing in thought] 
Yes, I am getting on in years. 



ACT I 45 

FARNHAM 
Oh, cheer up. We are only thirty two. "We are chil- 
dren still," and we "grope in the dark for what the day will 

bring." 

[Going to the table and reaching for the cigars] 

That's what we do: we "grope in the dark for what the 

day will bring" . . . Here— have a cigar. 

VAN ZORN 
[Absently] 
No, thank you. 

FARNHAM 
[Holding out the box] 
It's a Pedro. 



No, thank you. 

Colorado. 
Not now. 



VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Coaxingly] 

VAN ZORN 



FARNHAM 

[Taking a cigar and putting lack the box] 
Well, is there anything that your serene excellency 
would like, that I can give you— this fine October morning? 
You'll have a drink, perhaps. 

VAN ZORN 
[Shaking his head] 
No, Farnham. But I may— I may ask you for your 
advice. 



46 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Lighting his cigar] 
And you couldn't possibly do better. What seems to be 
weighing most heavily on your noble mind? 

[Pointing to a chair] 
Sit down. 
[Van Zorn fakes the large chair mechanically and remains for a 

time in silence. Farnham sits expectantly in a small chair 

not far from the table] 

VAN ZORN 
[Slowly] 
Farnham, I wish you would tell me something about 
this man Lucas. . . . About his life, and his death, and 
his possibilities. 

FARNHAM 
[Laughing] 
His death, did you say? 

VAN ZORN 
[Simply] 
Yes. He seems to have died. 

FARNHAM 

[Carelessly] 
I don't know but you are right. And if you refer to his 
possibilities in the way of drink, I can recommend him 
without qualifications. There is nothing else in town that 
is quite like him. 

VAN ZORN 
I am not joking, I assure you. 



ACT I 47 

FARNHAM 
Neither am I. Old Hundred is no joke. 

VAN ZORN 
Then you might tell me something about him. Who is 
he? What is he? And why is he where he is? 

FARNHAM 
[Laughing] 
Where is he? 

VAN ZORN 
He appears just now to be at what we might call the 
crossways. Whether he takes one way or the other, will 
depend upon events. 

FARNHAM 
[With a short laugh] 
Why don't you say Destiny, and be done with it? 

VAN ZORN 
Very well — we'll call it Destiny. How old is Lucas? 

FARNHAM 
About twenty-nine. Abundantly old enough to know 
better. 

VAN ZORN 
[With a smile] 

You might say that of fne. It is possible that Lucas and 
I may have a great deal in common. 

[He taps the arms of his chair with his fingers and looks into the 
distance] 



48 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing impatiently] 
I thought of that when I saw you together. 
[Crossing his legs] 

Well, you ask me to tell you about Lucas, and I find that 
I haven't much to tell. I haven't known him very long, 
when it comes to that; but from what I have gathered and 
inferred, it would seem that his father was a good deal of a 
metropolitan rounder — before the days of the Great White 
Way. Whether that made any difference or not, I don't 
know. All I can say for certain is that Lucas's father 
didn't spend all his evenings holding his little one on his 
knee, or teaching him the binomial theorem. 
\With a tired sigh] 

Little Georgie was undoubtedly neglected. But what of 
it? 

[Looking at the bust] 

So was Shakespeare, I fancy. 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning 
And Lucas's mother? 

FARNHAM 
She had the good fortune to die. You needn't look at me 
like that, for the old man was a bad egg. 

VAN ZORN 
[Disappointed] 
Is that the best you can do for me? 



ACT I 49 

FARNHAM 

[Impatiently] 
What more do you want? It's for Lucas to do the rest. 
He has abiHty enough to fit out a dozen ordinary men, 
but he can't use it — or he won't. He isn't pecuHar to 
New York. You'll find him over all the world. 

VAN ZORN 
[Thoughtfully] 
And Lucas has run down — Hke a watch. 

FARNHAM 

Yes, or rather like the Old Clock on the Stairs. And 
I'm afraid he's past winding up. 

VAN ZORN 
[Tapping with his fingers] 
And what will be the outcome of all this? 

FARNHAM 

[Weary of the subject] 
Oh, I don't know. I shouldn't wonder if I were to take 
up a newspaper some morning and read that one George 
Lucas had blown the top of his head off in one of our public 
parks — probably in Washington Square, not far from the 
statue of Garibaldi. That statue beats anything of 
Petherick's. 

VAN ZORN 
[Slowly] 
I wonder if I have made a mistake. I don't often make 
mistakes in my judgment of men. 



so VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

That's interesting. How about women? 

VAN ZORN 
We are not talking about women — 

[Wiih emphasis] 
at present. 

FARNHAM 
[Laughing] 
All right; excuse me. But what if you do make mistakes? 
You can charge them all up to Destiny, and go on about 
your business. The rest of us poor devils, who think we are 
burdened with free will, have to pay for our mistakes — 
v/ith complex interest. 

VAN ZORN 

No matter about that. But what if I were to run down — 
after the manner of Lucas? 

FARNHAM 
But Lucas's case hasn't anything to do with yours. 

VAN ZORN 
How do you know? 

FARNHAM 

You couldn't let yourself run down. 

VAN ZORN 
How do you know? 



ACT I SI 

FARNHAM 

[Gelling up, with a laugh of prolesl] 
Because that isn't the way we do things nowadays — if 
we have any sense. If you say "How do you know" 

again, I'll . . . 

VAN ZORN 

Farnham, has it occurred to you that Lucas's problem 
may not be half so simple as you have made it out to be? 

FARNHAM 
You can't expect me to tell you what I don't know. 

VAN ZORN 

[Significantly] 
Or all that you do know — possibly. 

[FAR^JHAM says nothing, bul smokes] 
In the light of what you say, I wonder that you should 
trouble yourself to have this man Lucas around. 

FARNHAM 
More Destiny I suppose. We can't beat Destiny. 

VAN ZORN 
Certainly not. But Destiny can beat us, and it can make 
us do better than we have done in the past. 

FARNHAM 

[With a sharp look] 
So Lucas is going to have greatness thrust upon him, 
is he? 

[Laughing] 
"Van Zorn and Lucas, the eminent comedians." 



52 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Laughing a little and looking at the bust] 
I wonder what Shakespeare would do if he were in my 
place. 

BARNHAM 
He might kill Polonius, or he might mix himself a drink. 
That would depend entirely upon Destiny. 

VAN ZORN 
[Drily] 
Undoubtedly . . . and we might say more about Des- 
tiny . . . But whether or not we ought to say it. . . . 

FARNHAM 
According to your convenient doctrine, I don't see that 
there is any "ought" or "ought not" about it — unless you 
think you ought to congratulate me on my engagement 
to Villa Vannevar. Do you? 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinctly y after a pause] 
Most assuredly not, 
[Van Zorn drums with his fingers on the arms of his chair and 
looks straight before him. Farnham watches him with a 
gathering hardness in his look and at length breaks the 
strained silence with a flat laugh, to which Van Zorn pays 
no attention] 

FARNHAM 
[Uncornfortably] 
Is this a new kind of joke that you have brought with 
you from India? If it is, I don't seem to care much for it* 



ACT I 



53 



VAN ZORN 
[Looking at him] 
I wish, Farnham, that you would wait a little before 
you talk like that. 

FARNHAM 
[With a short laugh] 
All right — I'll wait. There's nothing else for me to do. 
It's going to be Destiny anyhow, and I can't help myself. 

VAN ZORN 

[After getting up and looking at the picture] 

Farnham, there is something wrong here. 

[He moves slowly towards him] 

There is something in the air. I can feel it. I have felt 

it ever since I came in. 

FARNHAM 

[Utipleasantly] 
Shall I open a window and let it out? 

VAN ZORN 
I think it would be quite sufficient if we were to — hf t a 
curtain. 

FARNHAM 
[Drily] 
On your past life? 

VAN ZORN 
On mine — and yours. Past, present, and future. 

FARNHAM 
You are sure that you are quite well? 



54 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Nods slowly] 
I am sure. 

FARNHAM 

{With mock relief] 

That's good. Now a man in your condition ought to 
have a cheerful, not to say optimistic, outlook on life. 
[He shrugs his shoulders and forces another laugh] 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinctly] 

I may not see life as it is, but I see it as I see it. And 
I am confident that I see one rather important aspect of it 
as it is going to be if you have your way. I mean, rather, 
if your vanity and your obstinacy have their way. 

FARNHAM 

\With a sign of resignation] 
Goon. 

[Drily] 

You are the best thing we have had since Samson and the 
foxes. Well, with my Vanity and your Destiny working 
together, we ought to arrive somewhere, as I have no 
doubt we shall. 

VAN ZORN 
And where do you think we shall arrive? 

FARNHAM 

If you'll be good enough to raise that magic curtain of 
yours, we may find out. 



ACT I 55 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning] 
If I raise it — yes. 

FARNHAM 

[Nervously] 

Then why the devil don't you? 

[Laughing as before] 
I can stand it — Destiny and all. 

[With assumed lightness] 
I am enjoying what you say, thus far; and I have no doubt 

[Sitting down] 
that I shall be interested in what may follow. 

VAN ZORN 
[After watching Farnham] 
Then I may as well come to my subject. Do you know 
that I have been coming to it for a long time — for more 
than four years, in fact? 

FARNHAM 

I don't know what you are talking about, but go ahead, 
all the same. 

VAN ZORN 
I will. And I'll begin by asking you one or two direct 
questions. If they seem too direct, you must try to pardon 
me. 

[Pause] 

Farnham, does the approaching unhappiness of three 
people, who might as well be happy, commend itself to 
you as an attractive picture, or as a desirable state of 



56 VAN ZORN 

affairs? Have you said to yourself that your Vanity and 
my Destiny, to use your own words, might as easily work 
together for joy and for good, as for misery and for evil? 

FARNHAM 
[Squirming] 
What name does your doctor give to this? 

VAN ZORN 
Don't you think we are beyond that now? 

FARNHAM 

[Nervously] 
Beyond recovery? I hope not. 

VAN ZORN 
Haven't I raised the curtain? 

FARNHAM 

[Getting up] 

You have raised the devil. That's about what you have 
done. 

[With another dry laugh] 

What have you been doing since you went away? 

VAN ZORN 
[Quietly] 
You give me a leverage when you ask that. 



ACT I 



57 



FARNHAM 

[Impulsively] 
Then for God's sake use it, and send this curtain of yours 
up a little higher. 

[With irony] 
If I can be of any assistance . . . 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinclly] 
Farnham, my career, during the past four years, has 
consisted for the most part in seeking . . . seeking for 
guidance. 

FARNHAM 
\With another laugh] 
You might have done worse. ''He that seeketh" . . . 
You know about that fellow. 

VAN ZORN 
[Slowly, hut with finality] 
*'Findeth." 

FARNHAM 

\With strained humor] 
Good. Are you sure you won't have a cigar? 

VAN ZORN 
[Solemnly] 
Do you remember what the text goes on to say of him 
that knocketh? I wonder what you think would be likely 
to happen if I v/ere to— knock. 

[Farnham moves to the fireplace and stands gazing into the grate. 
Van Zorn looks at him and waits for him to speak] 



58 ■ VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Slowly and incredulously] 
What are you driving at, anyhow? Are you in love 
with Villa Vannevar? . . . You have never told me about 
this. 

VAN ZORN 
You have not been exactly available. 

FARNHAM 
You might have come back before. 

VAN ZORN 
And I might have made a mistake in doing so. , I waited 
for what seemed to be the appointed time, and then I came. 

FARNHAM 
And here you are. 

[With more spirit] 
Now I don't know much about the appointed time, as you 
call it, but I suppose I do know what you mean by knocking 
at doors. 

[He looks at the picture and scowls] 
May I ask 

[Unpleasantly] 

how many times you intend to knock? And when you 
intend to begin? 

VAN ZORN 
[In a level, musical voice] 
My intention was to knock once, this afternoon, if it 
could be arranged. 



ACT I 



59 



FARNHAM 

[Incredulously] 

You and your boat must have made a record, if that's 
the way you feel. 

[As if led along reluctantly by the humor of the situation] 
Well, I dare say it can be arranged — and I infer that you 
count on me to do the arranging. 

VAN ZORN 
I shall never knock under other conditions. 

FARNHAM 
[As before] 
And what do you intend to do after you get in? Some- 
thing in the Lochinvar line? Carry the young lady away 
on a horse — or in a limousine? 

VAN ZORN 

[Seriously] 
If I were to be admitted, and if I were to satisfy myself 
that my convictions are correct, that three people are on 
their way to unhappiness and disaster. . . . W^hat should 
I do then? What ought I to do then? 

FARNHAM 
You look at me as if you thought I was afraid of some- 
thing. I wish you would tell me what / ought to be be- 
ginning to think of you. 

VAN ZORN 
[Quietly] 
You should think of me at all times as the best friend 
you have in the world. 



6o VAN ZORN 

[Farnham lights a match on the box that he has taken from the 
mantel and watches the flame until it hums down to his fingers. 
Then he puts his hands into his pockets and looks at Van 
ZoRN intently] 

FARNHAM 
[Distinctly] 

How long has this been going on? How long have you 
been planning to marry Villa Vannevar? 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinctly] 
I said something about four years. But time, in your 
sense of the word, doesn't mean very much to me. 

FARNHAM 
[Almost with a sneer] 
It may come to mean more — eventually 

VAN ZORN 
[Nods slowly] 
That remains to be seen. 

FARNHAM 
[As before] 
As you see it? 

[Van Zorn nods again] 

My fatalistic friend, you may not care much to know what 
I have been doing during the past four or five years, but 
what I have been doing during the past four or five minutes 
may be of interest to you. If so, I have been asking my- 
self why it is, in spite of my agreement, that I have been 



ACT I 6i 

taking the trouble to listen to you. You must be aware 
that I would not have listened to the same talk from any 
other man living. 

VAN ZORN 

[With a strange innocence] 

What possible fear can you have, if you have no doubts— 
or misgivings? 

FARNHAM 

[Scowling] 

Fear? Doubts? Misgivings?— what the devil are you 
driving at now? 

VAN ZORN 

[As before] 

You might lead me to believe that you think me capable 
of treachery. 

FARNHAM 
Treachery? 

[With a nasal laugh] 
By treachery, I suppose you mean 

[Letting his words out half-angrily, in detached phrases] 
the repeated visitations— of an irresistible personality— 
on the unschooled emotions— of a young lady who is about 
to do me the honor of becoming my wife. . . . Am I 
about right? 

VAN ZORN 

[Smiling] 

You speak now as if you thought me capable of almost 
anything — beginning with murder. 



62 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
[Trying to laugh] 
No, I don't think that. For I know now that even you 
have your Hmitations. 

VAN ZORN 
[With tightening lips] 
Yes; and I am Hmited, for the present, at any rate, 
to one interview — subject to your consent and arrange- 
ment. If by any chance you should choose to change 
your mind . . . 

FARNHAM 
[Half-angry] 
What do you mean by that? Why should I change my 
mind? Just because you have elected to be plain crazy — 
with your appointed time, and your — your Destiny — do 
you think I'm going to be such an ass as to take you 
seriously? I don't care much for this sort of thing, and 
I don't mind telHng you so; but if you insist upon making 
a show of yourself, I don't know that I am bound by 
courtesy to interfere, or by law to be responsible — under 
the circumstances. 

VAN ZORN 
That will be first rate — especially under the circum- 
stances. Now let me be sure that we both understand. 
If I call to see Miss Vannevar this afternoon at four 
o'clock, by special appointment, — or, if not then, at the 
.earliest opportunity . . . 

FARNHAM 

[With an incredulous laugh] 
Oh, you'll get in. You needn't worry about that. 



ACT I 63 

[He smiles to himself and shakes his head, with a long sigh] 
Shall we go out now and have something to eat? 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
Don't you think, Farnham, that we had better give each 
other a short leave of absence? 

FARNHAM 

[Drily] 
As you say. 

[With a sorry laugh] 
As you see it. 

VAN ZORN 
Will you dine with me this evening? 

FARNHAM 

I'm sorry, but I can't. But I'll be here at ten, if that 
will do you any good. 

VAN ZORN 
[Laughing a little] 
Then I shall see you at ten. And you will telephone me 
at my hotel — we'll say at three-thirty? 

FARNHAM 

\With an easy snarl] 
Yes, I'll telephone. 

VAN ZORN 
The Knickerbocker. 



64 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Wearily] 
I know it. 

VAN ZORN 
Then I'll say good-bye until — ten. 

FARNHAM 

[More wearily] 

I understood what you said. You said ten. 

[After a pause Van Zorn goes out. Farnham returns from the 
vestibule with his hat and stick. After turning the picture 
to the wall, he stands for a while near the window-seat, shakes 
his head slowly, puts his hat on slowly, sits down, and smiles 
incredulously to himself. He draws figures on the floor 
with his stick as the curtain falls] 



Curtain 



ACT II 



ACT II 

A diagonal view of a room in Mrs. Lovett's house. The right 
corner is revealed, with half of the right wall. In the corner 
is a small grand piano, and to the right is a window. To the 
left, half way down, is the entrance, a wide arched doorway 
with curtains. Well down in front, somewhat to the right, 
is a table, before which are two comfortable chairs that 
partly face each other. Against the wall, to the left a?td below 
the entrance, is a couch. There are several pictures on the 
walls, and over the piano is a portrait of Mrs. Lovett's late 
husband, showing the beardless face of a man of fifty, mel- 
ancholy and rather glowering. The room has the unmis- 
takable appearance of a place where people live and make 
themselves at home. 

As the curtain rises, Villa Vannevar is at the piano, playing 
in a listless, abstracted manner the cantabile part of Chopin's 
Nocturne, Op. 37, No. 2. Mrs. Lovett, sitting in the chair 
at the right of the table, listens, frowns, stamps her foot, and 
finally speaks out with evident impatience. 

MRS. LOVETT 
Villa Vannevar, do for heaven's sake keep still, or play 
something that has a little life in it. You play that thing 
as if you were crying through the ends of your fingers. 

VILLA 
[Turning about and facing Mrs. Lovett] 
Would you have me always laughing. Auntie — Hke this? 

[She makes a ridiculous face and laughs] 
67 



68 VAN ZORN 

MRS. LOVETT 
No, you silly child. But you needn't look forever as 
if life were nothing but one long funeral. I don't like 
funerals. 

VILLA 
[With a shnig] 
I don't know about that. It seems to me sometimes 
that funerals are better than weddings. When we go to 
funerals, we know what has happened; but when we go to 
weddings, we don't even pretend to know what is going 
to happen. 

[Looking at her foot] 

I think I like funerals best. 

MRS. LOVETT 
You crazy child, you are positively wicked. 

VILLA 
Oh no, I'm not, Auntie. I'm good. 
[Getting up with a sigh] 
I'm good enough to be a fool. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[As if scared] 
Villa Vannevar! 

VILLA 

[Laughing 

Yes, Auntie, that's what's the matter with me. 

\Wearily] 

Otto Mink and George Lucas believe already that I am one. 



ACT II 69 

MRS. LOVETT 
Child! Do you know what you are saying? 

VILLA 

[Moving about with her hands behind her] 
I know perfectly well what I'm saying. They think 
I'm a fool for marrying Weldon Farnham — when he doesn't 
more than half want me. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Significantly, after a pause] 
You haven't married him yet. 

VILLA 

[Trying to laugh] 
No, I have not. 

[Pause] 

I wonder if the other man— Mr. What-you-call-him— 
thinks I'm a fool. 

MRS. LOVETT 
\With excited sarcasm] 
Don't you know what he thinks? 

VILLA 
How should I know what he thinks? I don't even know 
that he thinks at all. 

\With a pleasant nervousness] 
Do you know what he thinks? 

MRS. LOVETT 
I know that he considers you a very charming person, 
for one thing. 



70 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

{Laughing\ 
How nice of Mm! He didn't tell me so. 

MRS. LOVETT 
He may not have told you, but he did tell me. I am too 
old to be deceived. 

VILLA 
[Laughing[ 
Then you must be the oldest woman in the world. 

MRS. LOVETT 

[With decayed archness] 
Possibly I am. In any case, I am old enough to see that 
he considers you not only very charming, but exceedingly 
impertinent. 

VILLA 
Then he must be a beast. 

[She laughs] 

MRS. LOVETT 
He isn't a beast. He's a wonderful creature. And I am 
surprised out of my senses that he should be coming here 
to see you again this afternoon. 

VILLA 

[Laughing 

If you don't go away with your wonderful creatures, 

I shall throw things out of the window and shriek. For 

Mr. Van Zorn isn't a wonderful creature in the least. He's 

just a big overgrown man with a heap of money that he 



ACT II 71 

doesn't know what to do with, and he's coming to get you 
and carry you off in a taxicab. 

[She sits at Mrs. Lovett's feet and looks up into her face] 
And I'll never see my Auntie any more. And then I 
suppose there'll be nothing left for me to do but to go 
melancholy mad. I shall prowl around all by myself like 
a shut-up cat, and I'll sit down in all sorts of corners and 
cry like anything. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Pleased] 
So you have found his name at last, have you? 

VILLA 
I like his name. It sounds Hke a bassoon. But I don't 
like his eyes as well as I do the other man's. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Disturbed] 
Do you mean Weldon Farnham's? 

VILLA 
[Calmly] 
No, I was thinking for the moment of George Lucas's 
eyes. Mr. What's-his-name's are too much like blue 
search-hghts. 

MRS. LOVETT 
You needn't call him Mr. What's-his-name— and you 
needn't mention George Lucas. I am sorry that he has 
come to be what he is, but I don't care to have his name 
mentioned in my house. 



72 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

But you used to like him once, Auntie, — and this won- 
derful creature of yours liked him at first sight. As a 
matter of fact, he likes him better than he likes any of the 
rest of us. 

MRS. LOVETT 

Don't talk such nonsense. 

VILLA 
I'm not talking nonsense. , 

[Laughing] 

Anyhow, Auntie, your wonderful creature has taken a 
wonderful fancy to George — I beg your pardon — and I 
don't know how you are going to change the course of 
events, even if you tell me that I have a head like an Edam 
cheese — which I haven't, in the least. My head makes 
Otto think of a very nice horse. He said so. 

MRS. LOVETT 
Otto may have said so because you act so much like a 
donkey. 

VILLA 
I don't act in any respect like a donkey, and I don't 
think you ought to say such things. For I am an ex- 
tremely well-behaved young lady — except at times. 
[Pause] 

If you look at me like that much longer. Auntie, I'll say 
bow-bow; and then I'll put both my paws on your shoul- 
ders, and then I'll bite you. 

[She snaps her teeth and laughs] 



ACT II 



73 



MRS. LOVETT 

[Reluctantly] 
My dear Villa, why did you bring up George Lucas's 
name again? 

VILLA 
[With a kind of triumph] 
Why do you bring it up again, Auntie? 
[Pause] 
At any rate, he never injured anybody. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Sharply] 
But he disappointed everybody— and that's as bad as 
injuring them. I'm not sure that it isn't worse. 

VILLA 
But something may have happened. 

MRS. LOVETT 
Something always happens. What would be the use of 
living if things didn't happen? 

VILLA 

[Slowly] 
I know. But if they happen at the wrong time, and 
under the wrong conditions . . . 

MRS. LOVETT 
[With a snifi 
Well, what do you mean? Do you mean that when a 
boy with more than ordinary brains chooses to make an 



74 VAN ZORN 

utter fool of himself, and continues to do so until he grows 
up and everybody loses all patience with him . . . 
[She stops and looks angrily at her fingers] 

VILLA 

[Getting up and speaking thoughtfully] 
No, I don't mean just that . . . George's father must 
have been a very strange man. 

MRS. LOVETT 

[Rapidly] 

It doesn't make any difference what you mean. Besides 

[Slowly, with significant vagueness] 

if you consider yourself engaged to Weldon Farnham, you 

ought not to think of other men at all. And you are not 

supposed to know anything about men like George Lucas's 

father. 

VILLA 
[Laughing 
You did that very badly. Auntie. 

[With mock-deliberation] 
And so you want this new man with the queer name — this 
wonderful creature — all to yourself! 

[Going behind Mrs. Lovett and putting her hands on her cheeks] 
And you're a dear, and you're a pig, and you want him all 
to yourself, and it's nearly time for him to come. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Shaking her head free and looking over her shoulder] 
Do you know that you grow sillier and sillier every day 
of your life? 



ACT II 75 

VILLA 
[Drawing Mrs. Lovett back and looking down into her eyes] 
Well, would you have me stay forever and ever the 
same? ... If you will roll your eyes back just a little 
farther, Auntie, I shall see myself in them— as I did when 
I was a Uttle girl. 

[Pause] 

THE MAID 
[In the doorway] 
There is a gentleman to see Miss Villa. He gave me 
this card. 

VILLA 
[Taking the card and examining it] 
But there's nothing on it. 
[She gives the card to Mrs. Lovett and laughs nervously] 

MRS. LOVETT 
Dear me I I hope he isn't going to be eccentric. 

VILLA 

He may be an anarchist or something. 

[Shrugs and laughs] 

Go downstairs, Jenny, and find out the creature's name, 

and what he wants. If he asks for fish, give him a serpent. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Reprovingly] 
Villa! 

MAID 
His name is Mr. Lucas. 



76 VAN ZORN 

MRS. LOVETT 
Then why didn't you say so? 

VILLA 

Tell him to come upstairs, Jenny. 
[The Maid goes out] 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Bewildered] 

What in the world does this mean? And what in the 
world do you mean by asking him to come upstairs? 

VILLA 

Heaven only knows, Auntie. I don't seem to know what 
anything means today. 

[Mrs. Lovett sits and frowns, and looks at her hands. Villa 
Vannevar goes to the window and stands with her hands 
behind her back. Presently Mrs. Lovett turns and gazes 
at her, evidently much disturbed, and remains gazing at her 
until Lucas enters. He is pale, and his manner shows 
a constraint that he cannot wholly conceal. His clothes have 
been through some process of hasty renovation since his ap- 
pearance in Act I] 

LUCAS 

\With a certain huskiness] 

I hope, Mrs. Lovett, that you will pardon this — I'll 
say this last intrusion on my part. 

[Villa comes to him and takes his hand cordially, looking at him 
as if disturbed and anxious] 



ACT II 77 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Without warmth] 
Are you leaving New York, Mr. Lucas? 

LUCAS 

[With assumed lightness] 
Yes; and it might have been better for me if I had gone 
long before this. 

MRS. LOVETT 
Indeed? 

LUCAS 
[With impulsive directness] 
I came in the hope of seeing Miss Villa for a few moments 
before going away. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Rising slowly] 
Oh, I understand. 

[Reltictantly] 

In that case, I will leave you two to yourselves. 
[Lucas and Villa look at each other as she goes out. The faces 
of both are very serious and in hers there seems to be an ex- 
pression of fear] 

VILLA 
[After a pause] 
Why did you send me a blank card? 

LUCAS 

[With a thin laugh] 
Oh, I don't know. Because I drew it, I suppose. It 
wasn't a very brilUant performance on my part. 



78 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

[With feeling] 
I don't think it was at all brilliant — or at all kind. You 
ought not to do such things, or say such things — to me. 

LUCAS 
[With weak humor] 
I knew it wasn't brilliant as soon as I had done it. 
[At a venture] 
Your aunt was very good to leave us here together. 

VILLA 
Auntie is always good — 

[Hesitating] 
or means to be. 

LUCAS 

[With a vague smile] 

I am glad to know that, for I should be sorry to leave 

you with an aunt who was not good. But I came only to 

say good-bye, — not to talk of family history, or of old 

times. 

VILLA 
Would any harm come of it if we did talk of old times? 
[She sits down on the chair at the right of the table] 
Please sit down. 

LUCAS 
" No harm, I suppose, and not much good. 

\With a forced smile] 
No great good seems to have come of anything that I 
have done. 



ACT II 



79 



VILLA 

[Frowning anxiously] 
But I don't know what you have done. 
[Trying to laugh] 
You speak as mysteriously as Mr. — Mr. Van Zorn did this 
morning when he talked about his business. 

LUCAS 

[Sitting down] 
Yes, Van Zorn and I have a great deal in common. 
[He speaks and smiles with mild bitterness] 

VILLA 
[Quickly] 
You may have. I couldn't keep from seeing that he 
took a great interest in you this morning. 

LUCAS 
[As if tired, hut still interested] 
If you could see that, you ought to be able to see almost 
anything. You ought even to be able to see what I have 
done. 

VILLA 
[Angry with herself] 
. But I didn't mean to say that. You know I didn't. 

LUCAS 
You might as well have meant to say it, for you must see 
that I have done nothing. Even Van Zorn took the 
trouble— did me the honor, if you insist— to see as much 
as that. 



So VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

[Lamely] 

He saw that you were not — well, not quite satisfied. 
Isn't that what you mean? 

LUCAS 
Do you know anyone who is quite satisfied? 
[Pause] 
I know two or three who seem to be, but they are in 
asylums. 

VILLA 
[With a forced laugh and a shiver] 

Oh! So that's where they are. I thought there must be 
something wrong. 

LUCAS 

[Standing up and speaking earnestly] 

You are quite right. There is something wrong. We 
see it in the streets, we live it in our lives, we feel it in our 
hearts. And there you have my reason for coming to say 
good-bye to you. 

VILLA 

[Frightened] 

You mustn't speak like that — as if we were never to see 
you again. 

LUCAS 

[As before] 

And there you have my reason for wanting to go away 
into — what shall I call it? — into another kind of life, and 
to make a new beginning. It seems to be absolutely 



ACT U 8i 

necessary, for many reasons, that I should make a new 
beginning. Yes, I want to get away from all this dust and 
deceit and disillusion; I want to get away from all this 
noise and poison; I want a place where I can be quiet for a 
while, away from streets and faces; I want a place where 
there are no roofs between me and the sky; I want a place 
where the sun shines down on a fellow, and where the stars 
are. ... Oh yes, I know well enough what I want, and 
I know that I've waited too long. I might as well have 
gone away years ago . . . 

VILLA 
[Looking down] 
Yes, it might perhaps have been as well. 

LUCAS 

It would have been better — far better. 

VILLA 
[Looking up and hesitating 
Won't you tell me where you are going? 

LUCAS 

[After a pause] 
I am going — ^west. 

VILLA 
You are not very confidential. 

LUCAS 
I would be more so if I could. 



82 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

Mightn't it be better if you were to go in the other 
direction — towards the sunrise? . . . Was that a silly 
thing for me to say? 

LUCAS 
It will come to the same thing, for I shall follow the sun. 
[Trying to laugh] 
Some people do that all their lives — in order to keep warm. 

VILLA 
[Also trying to laugh] 
Is that why you are going away? But you told me why 
you were going. I forgot. 

LUCAS 
I don't want you to forget that. What I want you to 
forget are some things that happened a long time ago. 

VILLA 
[As before] 
Do be careful. You speak as if I were a hundred years 
old. 

LUCAS 
[With strange earnestness] 
I'll be very careful, or at least I'll try to be. And will 
you be good enough to pardon me for not knowing at one 
•time as much as I know now? — which God knows is little 
enough. I thought I knew myself then, but I've seen since 
that I was wrong. It was you who knew me. Yes, you 
knew me, then, and you know me still. And I am glad 
for that. 



ACT 11 ^^ 

VILLA 

[Doubtfully] 
You don't speak as if you were glad . . . And I wonder 
if it is really worth while for us to be so serious over a 
matter that is — past — and — 

LUCAS 
Forgotten? 

VILLA 

[Slowly] 
No, there is nothing that I wish to forget. We all make 
mistakes, don't we? How can we help ourselves? 
[She smiles sorrowfully] 

LUCAS 
We were younger then than we are now. 

VILLA 

[Forcing another laugh] 
I don't know what I shall do if you keep on telling me 
how old I am. Do you know that I pulled three gray 
hairs out of my poor scalp this morning? 
[He looks at her solemnly, and her face becomes suddenly serious] 
How long do you intend to stay in — the west? 
[Her question is obviously a makeshift to break the silence] 

LUCAS 
There seems to be no answer to that question—for the 
present. 

VILLA 
But you are coming back sometime? 



84 VAN ZORN 

LUCAS 
Who can tell? I may become so deeply attached to the 
region where I am going that I shall not wish to come back. 
Besides one has to consider the wisdom of his ways in this 
life — or he should consider them. 

[He speaks with a rather disastrous attempt at lightness that serves 
only to make Villa more dissatisfied and unhappy than 
before] 

VILLA 

[Troubled] 
I don't understand what you mean. 

LUCAS 
\With an efort] 
I don't mean very much. 

[Smiling faintly] 
But I came to say good-bye before going away — not to 
talk about wisdom. 

VILLA 
[Looking at him as she rises] 
It was good of you to come. 

LUCAS 

[Drearily] 
It was magnanimous of me. 

[With deep feeling] 
I wonder if you know how good you have been to me today? 

VILLA 

[Trying again to laugh] 
My aunt has just been telling me that I am wicked. 



ACT II 85 

LUCAS 
[After looking about the room] 
Well, good-bye. 

[He holds out his hand] 

VILLA 

[Holding his hand and speaking as if unwillingly] 

Good-bye . . . and I wish you every kind of good 
fortune. 

[Pause] 

And I shall remember you — always — if you care. 

LUCAS 

[With difficulty] 

Always? . . . Thank you . . . Good-bye . . . 

[As they stand looking into each other's eyes, the Maid appears 
in the doorway and announces "Mr. Van Zorn"J 

VILLA 

[Dropping Lucas's hand] 

Very well, Jenny. Tell him to come upstairs. 

[The Maid disappears, Villa and Lucas continue to look at 
each other, and both appear now to be embarrassed. She 
speaks again, after a pause] 

Please don't go — quite yet. 

LUCAS 
Why should I stay longer? 



86 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 

[Trying to laugh] 

I suppose I ought to keep him waiting, but I won't. 

[Seriously] 

For you are going away, and I feel sure that he would like 

to see you before you go . . . Isn't it odd that you two 

should be here together this afternoon? 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 
It may be odd. 

VILLA 

[Nervously] 
Or it may be fate. Anyhow, I shan't let you go until 
you see him. 

LUCAS 
[With tightened lips] 
Apparently not, unless I run. 

VILLA 
You aren't angry with me, are you? 

LUCAS 
I'm never angry, except with myself. 
[There is another pause, and Van Zorn enters. He looks at 
Villa Vannevar and at Lucas, hut shows no surprise. 
He smiles pleasantly and shakes hands with Villa] 

VAN ZORN 
Ah! I'm very glad to see you again. 

[Shaking hands with Lucas] 
And I'm very glad to see Mr. Lucas again. 



ACT II 87 

VILLA 

[Quickly] 

I thought you would be glad to see him— for he is going 
away. 

VAN ZORN 
[With a slight frown] 
May I ask when he is going? 

[He turns to Lucas inquiringly] 

LUCAS 
[Rather thickly] 
I was on the point of going when you came. 

VAN ZORN 
[Seriously] 
May I ask how long you intend to stay away? 

LUCAS 
I expect to be gone indefinitely. 

VAN ZORN 
[With a friendly smile] 
You may shake down one of my best castles if you do 
that. 

LUCAS 
I should be sorry to shake down any man's castle. 

VAN ZORN 
I'm sure of that. 

[Stroking his chin thoughtfully] 

I wonder, Miss Vannevar, if you would pardon me if I 



88 VAN ZORN 

were to make a somewhat surprising request. You may 
think it even eccentric. 

MRS. LOVETT 

\Who enters while he speaks\ 
We like eccentric people. 

{Beaming and holding out her hand] 
I'm so glad to see you. 

VILLA 
[Laughing] 
But what is this awful request of yours? 

VAN ZORN 
I was going to ask 

[Smiling at Mrs. Lovett, who smiles in return] 
if you would be kind enough to leave Mr. Lucas alone here 
with me for a few minutes. I fear that he is plotting 
against me, and I should Hke to know, before he leaves 
this house, that his plot has been abandoned. 

[With another smile] 
I am quite well aware that this request is unusual. 

VILLA 
[Taking Mrs. Lovett hy the arm and laughing] 
Oh, that's nothing! Everything is unusual today, and 
it's all the fault of Weldon's picture. Come along, Auntie, 
and we two will wait for what happens. 

MRS. LOVETT 
[Beaming, hut bewildered] 
I'm sure I don't know what any of you are talking about, 
but of course I'll do as I'm told. 



ACT II 89 

VILLA 

[Drawing her towards the door] 
Of course you wilL What else can you do when two 
conspirators drive you out of your own room? 

VAN ZORN 
[Pleased] 
Thank you. And when we have conspired sufficiently, 
I will play on the piano. Then you may come back. 

[The two women go out, Villa Vannevar singing "Quand on 
Conspire^' and laughing at the same time] 

VAN ZORN 
[Still smiling] 
Do you object to being corralled in this unconventional 
manner, Mr. Lucas? 

LUCAS 
[Puzzled] 
I am entirely at your service. 

VAN ZORN 
[In a very friendly voice] 
Well, to begin, it may possibly make you feel better to 
know that your friends have been talking about you be- 
hind your back. 

[He sits down on the piano stool, with his hack to the keyboard] 
I refer to Famham and myself. 

pLucAS looks more puzzled] 
I'll be quite honest with you and tell you that I began it; 
and I may as well come to the point at once and tell you 
that I shall probably need you in my business, — assuming, 



go VAN ZORN 

you understand, that you are available. I have had three 
or four schemes in my head for some time, and I'm sure 
that you will find at least one of them congenial. Are you 
interested? 

LUCAS 
[Taking an ivory paper cutter from the table] 
Yes, I am interested, but I don't want you to make a 
mistake. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
I shall make mistakes, whether you want me to or 
not. And as for what Farnham said — to go back for a 
little . . . 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 
Let us go back, by all means. What Farnham said 
about me ought to make rather good copy. 

[Curiously] 
What sort of stuff has he been telling you? 

VAN ZORN 
He didn't tell me much. In fact, far less than I hoped 
for. 

[Laughing a little] 

So you needn't worry about Farnham. 

LUCAS 

{Looking at something on the wall and breaking the ivory paper 
cutter in his abstraction] 

I wasn't worrying about Farnham. 



ACT II 91 

[Fitting the pieces together] 
I was wondering about you. 

[Pause] 
Do you know what you are doing? . . . Do you know that 
you are taking me seriously? 

VAN ZORN 
\With a friendly smile] 
If I were not taking you seriously, I should hardly have 
resorted, in a strange house, to this method of getting 
hold of you. 

[Half laiighing] 

Don't you care to be taken seriously? Or do you prefer 
to be taken as a joke? 

LUCAS 

[Hesitating 
Why do you ask me if I care? 

VAN ZORN 
[Pleasantly] 
Partly for the sake of saying something, and partly be- 
cause I should like to know. 

LUCAS 
\With tightened lips] 
Why don't you ask me the other question — and have 
it off your mind? 

VAN ZORN 
[Indulgently] 
At your own suggestion, I will. I will ask if you care 



92 VAN ZORN 

enough to begin the game all over again, and let the past 
sink. 

LUCAS 

[Cynically] 
The past ought to be pretty well drowned by this time. 

VAN ZORN 

[Kindly, but very distinctly] 

On the contrary, I have been led to infer that you have 

put yourself to a great deal of trouble and expense to keep 

it floating, so to speak. As a rule, I don't mean to meddle 

with other people's affairs, but in your case . . . 

\With a laugh] 
I'm sure you understand me. You have a head of your 
own. 

LUCAS 
[Nodding it slowly] 
Yes; and only one. 

VAN ZORN 
Do you think it worth saving? 

LUCAS 

[Embarrassed] 
If you insist, I — well, I suppose I do. It's a fairly good 
head, in some respects. But why should we talk about it 
now? 

[He looks about him uneasily] 

VAN ZORN 
[Standing up and gazing at LucAsl 
Because you told me you were going away. Now I will 



ACT II 93 

be as frank as possible with you and tell you that I didn't 
like your way of saying it, or your way of looking when you 
said it. 

LUCAS 
[Wetting his lips] 
You are not very clear. 

VAN ZORN 
[Seriously] 
I am as clear as I can be, without having more specific 
information. 

[More seriously] 

I knew another fellow once who— went away; and you 
made me think of him. 

LUCAS 
[Drily] 
How far did he go? 

VAN ZORN 
[Firmly] 
How far did you intend to go? 

LUCAS 

[Nervously] 
You seem to have it settled that I am not going. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling again] 
You are not going if I can keep you in New York. 



94 VAN ZORN 

LUCAS 
[Throwing the broken paper cutter down on the table and putting 
his hands in his pockets] 
I thought I was going. 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning as he watches him] 
You speak as if you had made some final preparations. 
Sometimes they are very final indeed — preparations. 

[Pause] 
Will you give me an answer to my question if I ask you 
just what preparations you have made? 

LUCAS 
[Slowly] 
Yes, and I will give you more than that. 

VAN ZORN 
[Relieved] 
Good. But I'm not going to be satisfied even then. 
I am going to ask you, in addition, to dine with me this 
evening at the Knickerbocker, and I am going 

[He returns to the piano stoot] 
to ask you to take a small advance. 

[Taking a check book and a pen from his pocket] 
If you don't happen to need this 

[He writes as he speaks] 
you needn't use it, but I want you to take it, all the same. 

[Handing him the check] 
Will you? 



ACT II 95 

LUCAS 

[Slowly] 
Yes, I will take it. And I will see you at— seven o'clock? 

VAN ZORN 
Thank you. 

[He toys with his pen as if he were waiting] 

LUCAS 

And you may do whatever you like with this. 

[He takes a small vial from his waistcoat and gives it to Van Zorn, 
who takes it slowly] 

VAN ZORN 
[Looking at the vial and scowling] 
Cyanide of potassium? 

[He smiles grimly and shakes his head as he looks up] 
That isn't what you need. 

[He looks again at the vial] 

K C N . . . do you know what that makes me think of? 

[He looks up again and laughs drily] 

LUCAS 

[Uncomfortahly] 
Yes, I suppose I know. 

VAN ZORN 
[Putting the vial in his pocket] 
No, I don't believe you do. 

[Smiling 
It makes me think of Sir Joseph Porter, K. C. B.— in 



96 VAN ZORN 

Pinafore. The last letter is different, however. How 
does that thing go? 

LUCAS 
[With sardonic distinctness] 
*'When I was a lad, I served a term." You may not 
believe it, but I did. 

VAN ZORN 
Yes, I believe it. But I was thinking of the tune. 

[He turns on the stool and begins to drum with his right forefinger on 

the piano] 
Is that the way it goes? 

LUCAS 
\With grateful impatience to get away] 
Yes — and this is the way I go. 

[Grasping Van Zorn's hand quickly] 
You will say something. 

[As if he had made a discovery] 
and / will say something. 

[Trying to hide his emotion in his voice] 
I'll make some sort of explanation. 

[Lucas disappears quickly into the hall and Van Zorn begins 
to drum " When I was a lad'' once more on the piano. Villa 
Vannevar appears in the doorway and watches him unseen. 
Finally she laughs and begins to clap her hands] 

VAN ZORN 
[Getting up] 
Mr. Lucas has gone. 

[Distinctly] 
But not so far as he thought he was going. 



ACT 11 Q7 

VILLA 
[Looking about] 
Did he go through the roof? 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling 
No, he went by the way of the stairs — and rather 
suddenly. 

VLLLA 
[Puzzled] 
Did he leave any word behind him? 

VAN ZORN 
Well, yes. He told me to say something. 

VILLA 

What did he tell you to say? 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling 
That was all — something. 

VILLA 

Please don't laugh at me. 

VAN ZORN 
Should I be likely to do that? Especially on so slight an 
acquaintance? 
[He laughs a little as he speaks, hut Villa remains serious] 

VILLA 
[Slowly] 
It doesn't seem to be slight — somehow. 



98 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[With a touch of mystery] 
Perhaps it isn't, really. We mortals know very little of 
ourselves, and far less of each other. As a consequence, 
we make mistakes. 

VILLA 

[Still puzzled] 
Do you make mistakes? 

VAN ZORN 
Frequently. 

VILLA 

[With a nervous laugh] 
I'm so glad. 

VAN ZORN 
Do you know that many of us waste large fractions of 
our short lives in being sorry for our mistakes — and often- 
times when we should be glad for them? 

VILLA 

[Puzzled] 
You said that as if you meant something. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
It is possible that I did mean something. 

VILLA 

Now you are laughing at me again. 



ACT II 99 

VAN ZORN 
[Easily] 
Why should I laugh at you when I know that you are 
not happy? 

VILLA 
[Puzzled] 
Do I look as if I were not happy? 

VAN ZORN 
Something has troubled you for a long time. 

VILLA 
Why do you say that? 

VAN ZORN 
If I had not known it, I should not have come to this 
house. 

VILLA 

[Trying to laugh again] 

Did I look so utterly miserable this morning that you 

took pity on me? Was it the picture? Or did you think 

I took too much trouble to see that Weldon laughed at 

Mr. Lucas? 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning strangely] 
No, it was not that. 

VILLA 
You seem to know something about him. 

VAN ZORN 
About Lucas? 



loo VAN ZORN 

VILLA 
Yes. You have kept him from going away. I am sure 
that he wished to go. 

VAN ZORN 
And I am sure that he intended to go. But I ventured 
to put the matter in a different light, and he has agreed to 
give New York another chance. New York, as I told him, 
is not in all respects the worst place in the world. 

VILLA 

[Laughing as before] 
Weldon thinks it is. But I forgot to offer you a chair. 
[Takes the chair at the left of the table] 
I don't wonder that Auntie calls me all sorts of things. 

VAN ZORN 
Thank you. 

[He puts his hands on the back of the chair at the left and looks at 
her as if waiting for her to say more] 

VILLA 

[Looking up at him] 
Yes, he thinks New York is the very worst. And that, 
I suppose, is one of the reasons why we are going to 
Damascus. 

[She laughs again, nervously] 

VAN ZORN 
[Slowly] 
Damascus? . . . Why Damascus? 



ACT II lOl 

VILLA 
Heaven only knows. And I am stupid enough to like 
New York. I like even the ferry whistles. 

VAN ZORN 
Should you care to stay here forever? 

VILLA 

No, I don't say that. I want to go to Egypt sometime 
and see the Sphynx. There are no sphynxes in New York. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling] 
Are you sure of that? 

[She laughs] 
There are no ferry whistles in Damascus. 

VILLA 
Why do you object to my going? 

VAN ZORN 
Why should I? 

VILLA 

Why do you object to George Lucas's going — ^west? 

VAN ZORN 
Because I have taken a particular interest in him. 

VILLA 

[Quickly] 
I'm glad of that. 



I02 VAN ZORN 

[Wilh a slight constraint] 
For I have known him all my life — and I like him. 
[Van Zorn, who has been looking from time to time at the portrait 
over the piano, is now gazing at it with apparently unconscious 
intentness] 

VILLA 
[Glancing over her shoulder] 
Did you know him — my uncle? 

VAN ZORN 
[Looking at her and shaking his head] 
I did not. 

VILLA 
My poor uncle Lovett was unfortunate, and I am glad 
for his sake that he is dead. Does that sound hard? 

VAN ZORN 
Far from it. I have known such cases. 

VILLA 
He died in this room. 

VAN ZORN 
I am not superstitious. 

VILLA 
He drank himself to death. 

VAN ZORN 
I am not uncharitable. 

VILLA 

He was a good man. 



ACT II 103 

VAN ZORN 
I have no doubt of it. 

[Pause] 
Lucas Is a good man. 

VILLA 

[Earnestly] 

He is good. And I hope his meeting with you may prove 
to be fortunate. 

VAN ZORN 
[Steadily] 

Lucas may prove to be the most fortunate of us all. 
Don't you think it would be well for at least one of us to 
be fortunate, even if the others are not? 

VILLA 
[Half -frightened] 
The others? You say such unexpected things. 

VAN ZORN 
[Still with his hands on the back of the chair] 

Yes, the others. The others who are not going to be 
fortunate. 

VILLA 

[With a shrug] 

You speak like a wizard. If you are trying to cast a 
spell over me, you might as well let me know beforehand. 

[Laughing thinly] 
All good wizards should do that, I think. 



104 V^N ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Firmly but rather sadly] 
I should say that the spell had already been cast. 

VILLA 
But what manner of spell do you mean? 
[Nervously] 
There are spells and spells, I suppose. Aren't there? 

VAN ZORN 
I might say the spell that compels you to take so much 
apparent satisfaction in being insincere. 

VILLA 
[Looking at him] 
Insincere? 

VAN ZORN 
[Nods slowly] 
To yourself and to the others. To the others who are 
not going to be fortunate. 

VILLA 

[Biting her lip] 
Did you come to tell me this? 

VAN ZORN 
I came because I was called. You may be surprised, but 
there is no reason why you should be offended. 

VILLA 
[With a cold but artificial laugh] 
Amused, you mean. 



ACT II 105 

VAN ZORN 
[Calmly and distinctly] 
No, that is not what I mean. For you cannot possibly 
find it amusing to know that you have the happiness of at 
least three lives at your disposal . . . Yes, in your 
power ... Do you beHeve, really, that it would be 
amusing to make three new contributions to the world's 
unhappiness — much of which, from any finite point of 
view, is already unnecessary? 

VILLA 
[Her lips tightening] 
I don't believe you realize what you are saying. 
[She rises] 
No, I don't mean that you are to go. 

VILLA 

[She goes to the table and looks aimlessly at some objects that are 

on it] 

Will you tell me something? 

VAN ZORN 
[Now at the right of the table, near the chair] 
Willingly, if I can. 

VILLA 

[Toying with the broken paper cutter] 
What did you say to Weldon Farnham about — about 
this? And what did he say to you? 

VAN ZORN 
I asked him for one interviev/. 



Io6 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 
And where do you intend to go at the end of this — one 
interview? 

VAN ZORN 

My own way, wherever that may he. 

[Very distinctly] 

You may never see me again, but you will kindly believe 

me when I assure you that the situation before you is not — 

amusing. 

VILLA 
[With half-hearted authority] 
Under ordinary conditions, you must see that I could 
not Hsten any longer to what you are saying. 

VAN ZORN 
I understand you perfectly. 

[Slowly, with a strange confidence] 
I understand at the same time that these are not ordinary 
conditions, and that you and I are not ordinary people. 

VILLA 

[With a shrug] 
I am beginning to think that we are not. 
[With a reluctant smile] 
■ Do you think we are so very important? 

VAN ZORN 
[With his hands on the back of the chair] 
Is anything important? 



ACT II 107 

VILLA 

[Slowly] 
I wonder — sometimes. And I thought 
[Rather feebly] 
that you were a friend of Weldon P'arnham's. 

VAN ZORN 
His best friend, so far as I know. 

VILLA 
Does a man's best friend try to . . . 
[She stops as if frightened] 

VAN ZORN 
Yes . . . If it is written so, yes. 

VILLA 

[As if compelled] 
Do you mean — "destiny?" 

VAN ZORN 

You may give it whatever name you choose. May I 
ask you another question? 

VILLA 
I suppose so. 

[With another shrug] 

But you needn't scare me. 



Io8 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 

[With a melancholy smile] 

That is the last thing that I could possibly wish to do. 
What I have now to ask is this: Is it your unalterable will 
to deprive three people, including yourself, of the happiness 
that might as well be theirs? 

VILLA 

[Trying to laugh] 

Why do you speak of my "will" and of your ''destiny?" 
Mayn't I have a destiny as well as you? 

VAN ZORN 

[Looking at the portrait] 

You have one undoubtedly. And I have one interview. 

[He stands as before with his hands on the hack of the chair and 
watches her while she examines various objects on the table] 

Are you sure that you know what it would mean if you 
were to make a mistake now? 

[She gives him a bewildered look that is meant to be resentful, hut 
he does not seem to notice it] 

Are you sure that you are thinking of the years, and the 
darkness, and the long roads that lie in the darkness — and 
end there? Are such things important, or are they still — 
amusing? 

[Villa stands looking vacantly at a picture post-card that is in 
her hand and finally turns the card towards Van Zorn, 
speaking with a trace of injured and half-frightened humor 
in her voice and eyes] 



ACT II 109 

VILLA 

[Irrelevantly] 
Did you ever see the Lion of Lucerne? 

VAN ZORN 
[Suddenly inclined to laugh] 
No. 

VILLA 
[Laughiitg] 
I thought you had seen everything. 

VAN ZORN 
[Shaking his head slowly] 
I haven't. I have never seen you but once, until today. 

VILLA 

[Laughing nervously] 
I don't see what the Lion of Lucerne has to do with 
your seeing me. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling 
I don't see what the Lion of Lucerne has to do with any 
of us. 

[He looks at the card and then at her, with the same melancholy 
and inquiring smile] 

I dare say that he has his good points. 

VILLA 
[Throwing down the card and putting her hands behind her] 
I still think that I ought to be angry with you. 
[Ruefully] 
Every nerve and fibre tells me so. 



no VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
You are too healthy to have nerves and fibres. And 
if you knew yourself better, you could not even think of 
being angry with me. 

VILLA 
[With humor and self-assertion] 
You are not an absolute mystery, and I know a great 
deal about you, and about myself — that is, for a girl who 
has never seen the Sphynx. 

[Taking up the card again and looking at it] 
I'll tell you something else that I know — something that 
I've known for a long time. 

[He nods slowly] 
I have known for a long time that our ways, 

[Quickly] 
Weldon's way and mine, I mean, — have been leading us 
just where you have said they are leading us — into the dark. 

[Looking down] 
And I have always been afraid of the dark. 

[With a shrug and a laugh] 
I wonder whether your coming to make me tell you this 
may not be "destiny" after all. 

VAN ZORN 
[Looking at her fixedly] 
There can be no doubt about that. 
[They stand looking at each other, she with her hands behind her, 
and he with his hands on the hack of the chair. After a pause 
she turns quietly toward the door, where the maid is seen 
standing] 



ACT II III 

THE MAID 
Mr. Mink would like to see you, Miss Villa. 

VILLA 

[Biting her lip to keep from laughing at Van Zorn's augmented 
solemnity] 

Tell him to come up, Jenny. 

[To Van Zorn] 

You don't look as if you were going to be glad to see Otto. 
You ought to be, for he is a very nice boy. 

VAN ZORN 

[Forcing a smile] 

So I have been told. 
[Otto enters briskly, with a book in his hand. Being a child of 
nature he does not attempt to conceal his surprise at discovering 
Van Zorn in the room] 

OTTO 

[Blankly] 
Oh! How do you do? . . . I'm afraid I'm in the way. 

VILLA 

[Laughing] 

Of what, Otto? You foolish child, you are never in 
the way. 

OTTO 

[Doubtfully] 

I don't know about that. But I have come, anyhow, 
as I said I would. And here, my adorable young lady, 



112 VAN ZORN 

is a copy of my latest abhorred twitterings. Does it look 
wicked? 

VILLA 

[Taking the book and laughing at Otto] 

It looks lovely. But why do you call it ^^^ Cinquieme? 
You don't live on the fifth floor. 

OTTO 
[Briskly] 

That isn't necessary. All you have to do is to shut 
yourself up in almost any kind of place, have in a barrel 
of mangoes, and let imagination do the rest. 

VILLA 

[Laughing] 
Mangoes? 

OTTO 
[Cheerfully] 
Mangoes. The mango has the flavor of all the fruits. 
If you eat a barrel of 'em, you will have the wisdom of all 
the ages. 

[With a grimace] 

Unhappily, I didn't eat my barrel quite fast enough, and 
so I lost some of it. 

VILLA 
[Laughing] 
That was too bad. 

[Looking at the hook] 
But I hope the critics will be good to Au Cinquieme, 



ACT II 113 

OTTO 

[Shaking his head sorrowfully] 

They won't. 

[Brightening] 

Do you remember my last hook— Huiires et Chablis? 

[She nods and laughs] 
Thank you for remembering it. Well, 

[Puttijig his hands into his trousers pockets] 
one inky-fingered imbecile advised me to write one more 
book as an antidote and to call it Huile de Foie de Morue, 
or Cod-liver-oil,— that being his private idea of humor. 
No, my dear young lady. Posterity is the only judge. 
Sometime, therefore, when I am gone— sometime when you 
are old and full of wrinkles— and rheumatism, if God 
wills it so— some far-off winter evening, for example, when 
you sit by the fire, with your cat in your lap,— say to your- 
self that Mink, who was always delicate, once took you 
out canoeing and contrived somehow to spill you into the 
beautiful Hudson, and that you swam ashore. 

VILLA 
And nearly died laughing. 

OTTO 
Oh, very well. But I can assure you both 
[Looking at Van Zorn, who has been listening rather wearily] 
that my neglected afflatus is of no manner of importance 
when compared with a bit of history that occurred about 
half an hour ago on Broadway, not far from Forty-second 
Street. It will do no good for me to tell it, for neither of 
you will believe it,— unless you believe in Noah's Ark, and 
such like. 



114 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 
[Quickly] 
We do believe in Noah's Ark, and you will please go on. 
Sit down and tell us about it. 

[She sits on the piano stool] 

OTTO 
I'd better not. I might not be able to get up again. 
Well then, it's about Phoebus — Old Hundred — Lucas . . . 
O Lord! 

VAN ZORN 
\With a quick frown of inquiry] 
Has anything happened to Lucas? 

OTTO 

[Looking from one to the other] 
It isn't easy to talk about. 

VILLA 

[Impatiently] 
But tell me what you mean. Otto. 

OTTO 
I mean 

[Folding his arms] 
that Old Hundred has refused a gin-rickey. 

VILLA 

[Forgetting herself] 

Oh! . . . But after all, was that so very wonderful? 

[Her manner reveals her suppressed excitement] 



ACT II 115 

OTTO 
[Innocently] 
You speak as if you thought so. 

VILLA 

[More naturally] 
I spoke because I was glad. It was the only thing for 
him to do, and I was afraid that he could never do it. 

[Eagerly again] 
Are you sure that he has done it, Otto,— or is this only 
once? 

OTTO 
\With a queer smile of reminiscence] 
He has done it fast enough, if I know anything about 

him. 

[To Van Zorn, with sudden expansion] 

You see, this friend of ours fills himself with fluid extract 
of early death for certain years, and then, all of a sudden, 
on Broadway, not far from Forty-second Street, he slaps 
a fellow kindly on the shoulder and tells a fellow that he, 
Phoebus, has been born again. That was it,— "born 
again." 

[To Villa, who has risen to her feet in her excitement] 
The man is illuminated, I tell you. There is something in 
his eyes. 

VAN ZORN 

[With tightening lips] 
Let us hope it is not dust. 



Ii6 VAN ZORN 

OTTO 

[Standing on his foes] 
No, the dust is in our eyes, if anywhere. Or it was. 

VILLA 

[To Van Zorn, gratefully] 
Not in yours, at any rate . . . And you have been the 
cause of it all ! 

[Otto looks at Van Zorn in amazement] 

VAN ZORN 

[As before] 

On the contrary, I don't know that I have ever been the 

cause of anything. But I agree with you in saying that 

this was the only course for him to take, although I have 

never shared your fear that he would not take it. 

VILLA 

[Still wondering] 
But how did you know anything about him? 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling faintly] 
Oh, there are signs. Moreover, I permitted Farnham 
to tell me as much as he would about Lucas's early life. 

VILLA 
But he cannot possibly know much about it. 

VAN ZORN 
[Thoughtfully] 
He spoke, I think, of an eccentric father. 

[He glances at the portrait of Lovett] 



ACT II 117 

VILLA 

Weldon was not here in those days and perhaps it was 
as well that he was not, — for he might not have understood. 

[As if to correct her self] 

I mean that men like Weldon find it hard to measure the 
importance of things that happen in other people's Hves. 
They can't do otherwise, I suppose. 

VAN ZORN 

All of which being granted, there still remains no room 
for doubt as to Farnham's friendliness towards Lucas. 

VILLA 

[Vexed] 

I didn't mean that. I don't see how I came to speak 
as I did. 

OTTO 

[Going to Villa] 

I'm very much afraid that you must put me down as the 
tender and innocent cause. Pardon my interruption, 
and — beware the book. 

[After a somewhat bewildered pause] 

Good afternoon. 

VILLA 

[As he is going] 

Is there very much about Nineveh in it? 

[She laughs rather thinly] 



Ii8 VAN ZORN 

OTTO 

[With a grimace] 
Nineveh occurs but twice, and Babylon has disappeared 
entirely. 

[He bows with exaggerated deference and disappears] 

[After Otto's departure there is a pause. Villa sits down in 
the large chair at the left of the table, while Van Zorn stands 
looking at the portrait. Both have become very serious, and 
Villa's voice and manner reveal more and more constraint 
and emotion during the following scene] 

VILLA 

[Trying to smile] 
What do you think of Otto, now? ^ 

[Pause] 
Wasn't it strange — ^what he told us about George? 

VAN ZORN 

[Standing near his chair] 

Was it any stranger than my coming to this house? 

VILLA 
[Embarrassed] 
But your coming was different, and I knew just when to 
expect you. 

VAN ZORN 
Did you know just why you were to expect me? 

VILLA 
Well, no, — not quite. 



ACT II 119 

VAN ZORN 
Were you a little offended at my request to see you? 

VILLA 

[Slowly] 
No. 

VAN ZORN 
You must at least have thought it very unusual. 

VILLA 

Possibly. 

[With a faint smile] 

But one looks for unusual things from you, somehow . . . 
But I shouldn't have said that. I beg your pardon. 

VAN ZORN 

I am asking myself whether or not I should beg your 
pardon. 

VILLA 

[Her voice trembling] 

For telling me the truth? 

VAN ZORN 

No; but for remaining here when you must be wishing 
that I would go away. 

[She pauses, rises quickly from her chair, and stands before him. 
She can hardly control herself. He looks into her eyes and 
then turns away] 



I20 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 
[Almost beseeching him] 

No, you must not do that! You must not go yet! . . . 
I can't let you go until I tell you something. 

[She moves back to her chair and sits down slowly] 

VAN ZORN 
[Unhappily, but with dignity] 
I don't wish you to tell me anything unless you are sure 
that I should hear it; and I don't wish to take advantage 
of your perplexity — or of your unhappiness. You will 
understand that, I am sure; and you will agree with me, 
no doubt, when I say that my position has already become 
rather — well, say strange, to use your own word. 

\With unconscious bitterness] 
It will serve as well as another. 

VILLA 

[Impulsively] 

I don't care how strange it is, or how strange you are, 
so long as I know that I can trust you. If you were not 
strange, I might not have the courage to ask you to help 
me ... I wonder if I ought to wait until I know you 
better. 

VAN ZORN 
\With deep feeling 

You will never know me better, and I shall be always 
at your service. 



ACT II 121 

[With a bitter smile] 
"They also serve who only stand and wait." 

[Pause] 
Even the blind can serve, in their limited way. 

VILLA 

[Choking] 

You must not say that again. You m„ust not . . . 

[Her voice breaks completely. She throws herself forward, laying 
her head and arms upon the table. Her whole body shakes, 
as if the prisoned emotion of years were finally asserting itself. 
Van Zorn stands with his hands on the back of his chair and 
looks down at her with a great sorrow in his eyes. Finally he 
turns from her to the part of the table that is near him and 
absently picks up the pieces of ivory that Lucas has broken] 

VAN ZORN 
[Fitting the pieces together, and speaking with difficulty] 
Then you are not going to Damascus, after all. 

[Villa's body still shakes with her emotion, and she makes no sign 
to show that she has heard him. He looks down at her as the 
curtain falls] 

Curtain 



ACT III 



ACT III 

Farnham's studio, a little after ten in the evening. When the 
curtain rises the room is dark, save for the light of the fire 
which is now burning in the grate. 

Farnham is lying stretched on the window seat. Presently he 
gets up rather lazily, turns on the light, looks at his watch 
and stands in the middle of the room with his hands thrust 
deep into the pockets of a black velvet house coat. Apart 
from this coat he is in evening dress. He moves about aim- 
lessly, yawns, and takes a cigar from the box on the table. 
As he is lighting it, the bell rings. He remains motionless 
for a little while, and a strange hard smile comes over his face. 
Finally, with a shrug of his shoidders he goes to the door and 
admits Van Zorn, who is dressed in ordinary business 
clothes. His face wears a serious expression and he greets 
Farnham with a kindly but somewhat uncanny smile. 
Then he looks towards the portrait on the easel, which has 
been moved back to its original place in Act I. 

FARNHAM 

[Still smiling drily] 
For such a demon of punctuality, it seems to me that 
you are a bit late. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling as before] 
Am I so insufferably punctual that I cannot have five 
minutes' grace? 

[He takes off his overcoat] 

I2S 



126 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Taking his coat and hat and putting them on the window seat] 
Oh, no offence. You have made your own reputation. 
[Van Zorn goes to the fire] 
Are you cold? 

VAN ZORN 
It's rather cool outside. 

FARNHAM 

[With a grin] 
I noticed that when I came out of the subway. Aren't 
you going to sit down? 

VAN ZORN 
Presently. 

FARNHAM 
Take your time about it. Have a cigar. 
[He holds out the box and smiles] 

VAN ZORN 
I'll take one later, if you don't mind. 

FARNHAM 
It's a Pedro. 

VAN ZORN 
Not now. 

FARNHAM 
[Coaxingly] 
Colorado. 

[Van Zorn shakes his head and smiles patiently] 
Very well. Pardon me if I appear to urge you. 



ACT III 127 

VAN ZORN 
I can think of no one who should ask me to pardon him. 

FARNHAM 
You remind me of the noble Spaniard who had no 
enemies because he had killed them all. 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling faintly] 
I have never killed anybody, to my knowledge. I may 
once have had something to do with bringing a man back 
to life again. 

FARNHAM 

That was good. Did he thank you for it? 

VAN ZORN 
He didn't say very much. 

FARNHAM 
They don't as a rule, I believe. By the way, 
[Grinning] 
when do you intend to tackle Old Hundred? 

VAN ZORN 
[Frowning slightly] 
I dined with Lucas this evening — if you mean Lucas. 

FARNHAM 

[Surprised] 
Oho ! You did?— Did he get drunk? 



128 . VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
He did not. 

FARNHAM 

[Not too pleasantly] 

Oh well, you needn't be discouraged over that. There'll 
be time enough between now and midnight. 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinctly] 
There will be time enough between now and midnight 
for more things than you may have considered. 

FARNHAM 

[Puzzled] 

I have no doubt of it. But no matter about Lucas. 
Tell me something more about your destiny. 

[Drily] 
How is your destiny this evening, anyway? 

VAN ZORN 
[Still standing by the fire] 
My destiny is a very good destiny, but unfortunately 
it has encountered one that is better. — Unfortunately for 
myself I mean, — not in any sense for others. 

FARNHAM 

[Patronizingly] 

You are a good fellow — altogether too good to be put 
at a disadvantage. But this once — only this once, upon 
my word — I can't help repeating that I didn't think much 



ACT III 129 

of it. One interview, and all that sort of thing. You see, 

it wasn't quite in your line. 

[Pause] 

Well, how much am I to know?— and how soon am I to 

know it? 

[Drily] 

Suppose you sit down in that chair. 

[Indicating the large chair] 

The consequent relaxation may be a good thing for you. 

VAN ZORN 
Thank you, I will. 
[He sits down and begins to drum with his fingers on the arms of 
the chair] 

FARNHAM 

[Sitting down] 
Now you look more comfortable. 

VAN ZORN 
[Abruptly] 
I told you, Farnham, that I thought Lucas and I might 
possibly be of service to each other. 

FARNHAM 

[Wearily] 
Can't you forget Lucas for the rest of this evening? 
Granting all his noble qualities— including his indefat- 
igable industry— I don't yet understand that you came 
here to talk about him. 



130 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Earnestly] 
Farnham, if you had known what you were asking, 
you would never have asked me to forget Lucas this even- 
ing. I may forget my name, and my age, and my way to 
Forty-second Street, but I shall not be likely to forget 
Lucas this evening. 

[Pause] 
You told me this morning, I beheve, that you had had 
enough of him for one day. 

FARNHAM 

[Puzzled and irritated] 
Most assuredly I did, and I meant what I said. I'll 
be as glad as anybody if you can straighten him out, but 
what the devil sense is there in harping on him from morn 
till dewy eve? Why not let Lucas go for the present? 

[Becoming more incisive] 
You started out this afternoon, I believe, to acquire some 
very special information that doesn't seem to be forth- 
coming. 

VAN ZORN 
[Slowly] 
It will come . . . And as for letting Lucas go — 



FARNHAM 

[Throwing up his hands] 



Good God! 



VAN ZORN 
[Calmly] 
-letting Lucas go will be very difficult. In fact, it 



ACT III 131 

will be out of the question. Instead of letting Lucas go, 
I fear that we shall be under the necessity of letting Lucas 
come. 

FARNHAM 
[Unpleasantly] 
What are you talking about? I didn't ask him to 
come, did I? 

VAN ZORN 
[As before] 
You did not, and I did not. 

[Drumming with his fingers] 
But he is coming all the same. I have no doubt that he has 
been coming— through the ages. 

FARNHAM 

[Laughing drily] 
So that's it. More of your infernal Destin>, I suppose. 

VAN ZORN 

[Earnestly] 

Whatever you do, Farnham, you had better wait a 

while before you begin to find fault with Destiny. For I 

should be inclined to say that you are going to be far more 

fortunate than I am, or am ever likely to be. 

[He looks thoughtjidly about the studio] 

FARNHAM 
Oh, you needn't try to smooth it over like that. I only 
meant that I was looking forward to this evening for a 
different kind of talk from this. 



132 ' VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Quieily] 
You will have it yet. 

FARNHAM 

[Wearily] 
With Lucas? 

VAN ZORN 
[With deliberation] 
Farnham, if I don't give you certain information that 
you have every reason to expect, it is because I don't feel 
that I am in a position to give it. But I will say, 

[Smiling] 
at the risk of my life, that Lucas has been straightened out. 
I don't know just how I know it, but I know it. 

[With another smile] 
Your engaging friend Otto brought the news this after- 
noon — 

[Casually] 

not long after Lucas left Mrs. Lovett's house. 

FARNHAM 

[Rising and speaking sharply] 
Lucas at Mrs Lovett's house? . . . You are keeping 
something back from me, and I should like very much to 
know what it is. 

VAN ZORN 
[Reluctantly] 
Yes, I am keeping something back. And I have some- 
thing else that I was requested, and finally persuaded, to 



ACT III 133 

give to you this evening. I would rather not do it, but it 
may be as well that I should. 

FARNHAM 

[With dry fervor] 
I hope it will be something more tangible than what 
you have been giving me. 



There it is. 



VAN ZORN 
[Giving him a small object] 



FARNHAM 

[After a stupefied pause] 
Man alive, are you out of your senses? This is Villa 
Vannevar's ring. What the devil has been going on? 

[Sharply] 
Why don't you tell me? 

VAN ZORN 
Miss Vannevar will do that. 

[Farnham scowls incredulously] 
She and Lucas have been together, at her special request, 
since eight o'clock. Until she comes, please remember that 
I am acting only as a messenger. 

FARNHAM 

[Looking from the ring to Van Zorn] 
Are you all trying to make a fool of me? Are you the 



134 VAN ZORN 

friend that I have been trusting and praising all these 
years? 

[With a falling inflection] 

I'd better build a cabin in the woods . . . What does all 
this insanity mean, anyhow? You can answer that ques- 
tion, if you have a mind to, and you know it damned well. 

VAN ZORN 
[Quietly] 
Farnham. 

[Pause] 

You are going to have two more visitors this evening, and 
they are nearly due. They are not going to stay, in all 
probability, more than fifteen minutes. When they are 
gone, you and I may have something more to say to each 
other. 

FARNHAM 
That is altogether possible. 

VAN ZORN 
[Rising] 
And if I have been the indirect means of this sudden 
change in the course of events, I wish you to know that I 
beheve, as I stand here, that events would have taken the 
same course, though not quite so suddenly, if I had never 
gone to Mrs. Lovett's house this afternoon. I mean, you 
understand, so far as events concern you personally. So be 
a good fellow and try to keep a little of your old faith in 
me. 

[Pause] 

Do you hear a motor coming? 



ACT III 135 

[He takes out his watch and smiles wearily at Farnham] 

They are on time, if I was not. 

[The bell rings. Farnham admits Lucas and Villa Vannevar. 
Lucas has more color in his face, and his eyes are brighter 
than in the morning. He carries himself through the follow- 
ing scene with far more dignity and ease than might be ex- 
pected, with now and then a facial suggestion of appreciative 
humor. Of the two Villa is the more excited, but hers is the 
excitement of determination rather than of embarrassment or 

fear] 

FARNHAM 

[To the three, after rather formal greetings to Lucas and Villa] 

Well, I have the honor to report that I am still in the 

dark. 

\With a hard smile] 

Won't you all sit down? 

{They remain standing] 

VILLA 
[Going to Farnham and speaking with suppressed excitement] 
Oh, but I am glad to hear you say that— that you are in 
the dark. 

[He nods with condescension and she steps back a little] 
I was afraid you didn't know it. 

[Pause] 
Weldon, do you know what it was doing to me? But you 
don't, because you can't. I shall have to tell you what it 
was doing. It was driving me mad. 

FARNHAM 

[Drily, with a glance at Lucas] 
Kindly go on. 



136 VAN ZORN 

VILLA 
It was killing me. 

[Farnham nods again] 
I know you are going to think some dreadful things about 
me, — and say them too, I suppose. 

[Rapidly] 
But whatever you do or say, don't ever forget that I am 
the cause of all that's happened this evening. I took the 
matter into my own hands — just because I couldn't wait. 
And when my mind was once made ud that I couldn't 
wait, — well, I couldn't wait. 

[He nods again] 
And I couldn't see much need of spending days and nights 
in talking about it. 

FARNHAM 
[With a shrug, and another look at LucAsl 
Naturally not. 

VILLA 
[To Van Zorn, who is standing near the fire] 

And you 

[Gratefully but rapidly] 

— you remember what I told you when I got over that 
foolish fit of crying. I told you that nothing could ever 
make me change, and I asked you to help me. You told 
me first that you would rather not, and you said something 
that I didn't hear about circumstances; but finally you 
did agree to do a little — just because you could see that I 
was so much in earnest — and that nothing could ever make 
me change — and that I couldn't wait. 
[Van Zorn replies with a slow nod, and Farnham grins at Lucas 
with sardonic incredulity] 



ACT III 137 

FARNHAM 
[To Villa, with a dry laugh] 
Will you be so kind as to let me know what this thing 
is or was,— you haven't yet given it a name— that was 
driving you mad, and killing you, and whatever else it 
may have been doing? You don't look to me like a dying 
person, as you stand there now. 

VILLA 

[Impatiently] 
Oh, you know what it was. It was our horribly false 
position— pretending to care for each other when we 
didn't— I mean when we didn't care enough. 

FARNHAM 

[Unpleasantly] 
In that case, perhaps you will be good enough to tell 
me what sort of position you would call this that we are 
in now. 

[He looks at Lucas and Van Zorn] 

Lucas, why do you stand there like that? Why don't you 
say something— if you have anything to say? 

VILLA 

[Quickly, looking from Lucas to Farnham] 
He can't speak yet, for I shan't let him. I shan't let 
anybody speak until I have said what I have to say. No, 
not one of you three can say a word until I tell you that 
I have asked George Lucas to marry me. 
[Farnham and Van Zorn are almost equally surprised at this 
announcement, though the latter quickly regains his usual 



138 VAN ZORN 

composure. Lucas looks at first as if he would like to get 
away, but endures his unlooked-for prominence with an 
Indian-like resignation] 

There! 

\With her hands behind her back] 

Now you may all speak at once, if you care to. 

FARNHAM 

{Going to Villa, after a pause, and taking one of her hands] 
Villa, what is the matter with you this evening? Has 
the moon driven you insane? 

[To Lucas, sharply] 
Lucas, why don't you say something? 

LUCAS 
[With a dry cough] 
You are quite right. The time has come for me to 
speak. 

FARNHAM 
Well, if the time has come for you to speak, why the 
devil don't you? 

LUCAS 
{Calmly, but uncomfortably and with several oratorical pauses] 
I am going to say something — and I don't see how it is 
going to take me very long to say it. 

\With another cough] 
Knowing — as I need hardly tell you now — that I could not, 
in view of my past and present circumstances — presume to 
ask of this lady the kind of question that she has taken 
upon herself to ask of me — and this time without wholly 



ACT in 139 

anticipating its immediate effect upon one's nervous 
organization,— well, I can only say that she has acted in 
accordance with her own convictions in regard to the solu- 
tion of a rather difficult problem, and has thereby placed 
me under excessive obligations — that she cannot expect 
ever to be entirely fulfilled. 

[To Farnham, with a faint smile] 
Whatever else you may wish me to say will be related, 
with your permission, at another time. 

FARNHAM 
[With cold humor] 
" She has acted in accordance with her own convictions 
in regard to the solution of a rather difficult problem." 

[To Van Zorn, drily] 
As she sees it, I suppose. 

VAN ZORN 
Is there more than one way to see it? 

FARNHAM 
I see it as a bit of impetuous farce. 

VILLA 

[Protesting violently] 
No, don't say impetuous. Say anything but that. Say 
determined— ordained— premeditated— desperate— any- 
thing but impetuous. I'll not have anybody— not even 
George— tell me that I was impetuous when I was only 
sensible. You might as well call me— I don't know what. 
You might as well call me a fool. 



140 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
[With reluctant humor] 
Do you know, my dear young lady, that you are using 
some rather positive language? 

VILLA 
[Still excited] 
I don't care. I must use it, in order to make myself 
understood. 

[To Lucas] 

Tell him, George, about the ring. 

FARNHAM 

[Satirically] 
Yes, George, let us hear about the ring. 

LUCAS 
She means that the ring would have been returned to 
you in any case. 

FARNHAM 

[To Van Zorn, with fine irony] 
And this is your work. 

VAN ZORN 
[Distinctly] 
No, my friend, you are mistaken. It is not the work of 
any human being — in this room, or out of it. 

FARNHAM 

[Wearily] 
Oh, the devil! I've heard all that before. 
[Van Zorn shrugs his shoulders and looks at the fire] 



ACT III 141 

VILLA 

[Earnestly] 
Weldon, let me tell you again what I told you when I 
came in. 

[With intensity] 
It was kiUing me. It was driving me mad. 

FARNHAM 
[Throwing up his hands] 
For heaven's sake, are you going to drag that nonsense 
in again? 

VILLA 

It meant the torture of our two lives . . . The ruin of 
them, for all we know. 

FARNHAM 

[With a careless absence of emotion] 
Lives are not so easily ruined as all that. If they were, 
some of us would be ruined before we were born. 

VAN ZORN 
[With a faint smile] 
Some of us are, Farnham. 

FARNHAM 

[To Van Zorn, with hesitation] 
Don't you think that you have contributed about enough 
to the needless absurdity and injustice of all this . . . 

VILLA 

[Quickly] 
No, you must not say that to him. It was I who did 



142 VAN ZORN 

this, and it was I who insisted that it should be done to- 
night. If your best friend had not helped me, I should 
have done it sooner or later without him . . . Now will 
you let me go on from where I was when you interrupted 
me? 

FARNHAM 
[With evident admiration] 
Yes, if you remember where that was. 

VILLA 

[With animation] 
It was where I was going to say something more about 
George. 

[Farnham looks at Lucas, who is looking at the bust of Shake- 
speare] 

Weldon, there are certain people in this world who are 
made for each other. You may laugh at me for saying 
so — I know it isn't very original — ^but I believe it to be 
true, and that makes it just the same as if it were true. 
Well then, I believe that George Lucas and I have be- 
longed to each other since the beginning of our lives, and 
I have known it ever since I can remember. I knew him 
long before I knew you, and I know more about him than 
you have ever known or ever can know; 

[Farnham looks again at LucASj 
and once, when I was so scared and happy that I didn't 
know what to do — this was ages ago — I told Auntie all 

about it. 

[With comical directness] 

Auntie didn't like— his father. 



ACT III 143 

FARNHAM 

[With venomous humor] 
And what did Auntie say? 

VILLA 

[With a shrug and a rueful laugh] 

Oh dear! If I were to try to tell you what she said, I 

shouldn't know how to begin or where to end. It doesn't 

make so much difference what Auntie said, so long as she 

said — what she said. 

[With unconscious humor, looking down] 
She didn't like George's father. 

FARNHAM 
[Grinning at Lucas] 
Did she like George? 

[Pause] 
George doesn't seem to have anything more to say. 

LUCAS 

\With dry emphasis] 
Yes, George has one thing more to say. He has to say 
that he has not yet accepted the lady's offer. 

FARNHAM 

[Scowling 
Then why are you here? 

LUCAS 
To do so in your presence — now that you understand 
the situation. 



144 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
But I don't understand the situation — except in the 
vaguest kind of way ... I knew about it in that way 
before. 

VAN ZORN 
[SHU standing by the fire] 
Farnham, I don't like to interrupt you. 

FARNHAM 
Oh- — you don't . . . 

VAN ZORN 
But why debate the inevitable? It will do no manner of 
good, and it will be likely, as Miss Vannevar has already 
impHed, to take up a great deal of time. 

FARNHAM 

[Drily] 
Have you been coaching them? 
[Van Zorn makes a gesture of resigned protest, but says nothing] 

Well, you haven't told me what you said to Lucas during 
dinner. 

VAN ZORN 
I told Lucas that Miss Vannevar wished very much to 
see him as soon as possible after eight o'clock. 

FARNHAM 
Was that all? 

VAN ZORN 
Substantially, yes. 



ACT in 145 

FARNHAM 
Mightn't that leave a pretty wide margin for conjecture? 

VAN ZORN 
It might, but it doesn't. Please remember that when I 
told you of my interest in Lucas, I was not anticipating 
the developments that have transpired. 

FARNHAM 

[Unwilling to let the subject go] 

But you are the cause of these developments, for all 
that. What did you say to Villa after Otto went away? 

VAN ZORN 
[With a slight weariness] 
I didn't find a great deal to say. I told her pretty much 
what I have told you, — that Lucas and I were going to be 
of service to each other, and that I had complete confidence 
in him. Please do not ask me to go any further into de- 
tails — just now. 

[With a friendly smile] 

My dear Farnham, if you were to form at your time of 
life the fatal habit of clinging to ruins, and of refusing to 
accept what has irrevocably taken place, there is no 
knowing what might happen to you — and to your art. 

FARNHAM 
Do you remember that you used to call yourself a 
friend of mine? 
[He speaks half-heartedly, a?id seems to regret having spoken] 



146 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 

[Disiinctly] 

1 was never in my life more convinced of my complete 

loyalty to you, or of your complete faith in me. I was not 

expecting to say so this evening, unless to you alone, but 

never mind that now. 

FARNHAM 

[Rather ruefully] 
I suppose that's your fantastic, esoteric, oriental way 
of telling a fellow that he has said something foolish. I 
don't say it's a bad way, you understand — 
[He stops y and has another look at Lucas, who smiles in approval] 

VILLA 
[Going to Farnham and putting her hands on his arms] 
You needn't try to be angry any longer, for I can see by 
the look in your eyes that you can't. 

[Shaking him a little and beginning to laugh] 
You ought not to be angry, for you are so glad to get rid 
of me that you don't know what to do with yourself. 
You may tell me that I ought not to say so, but you can't 
put the words back into my mouth — 'cause I've got my 
teeth together. 

[She shows her teeth and laughs at him] 

FARNHAM 

[Taking her hands and smiling] 
I don't remember having said that I was angry. 
[He pushes her away gently] 



ACT III 147 

VILLA 
[Putting her hands behind her and laughing] 
There was no need of your saying it. 

FARNHAM 
[Drily] 
Then that must have been the reason why I didn't say 
it. 

[Pause] 

But don't you think that I had just the sHghtest conceiv- 
able reason for being — for being a trifle annoyed, we'll say? 

VILLA 

[With feline demureness] 
Well, I rather suppose you did. 

[Looking at him brightly] 
But it's all over now, isn't it? 

FARNHAM 
[Trying not to laugh] 
And so you find your escape from me a very simple 
matter. 

[With mild sarcasm] 
It seems to be one of the prerogatives of womankind to 
discover now and then that some problems are very simple. 

VILLA 
[She looks at Lucas, then for a longer time at Van Zorn, who still 
remains by the fire, and finally at Farnham again] 
And that others are very difficult. 
[Farnham glances at Van Zorn, who stands looking at the burn- 
ing coals. There is a pause, which is broken by the ringing 



148 VAN ZORN 

of the hell. Farnham admits Otto, who stands for a time 
in meek bewilderment after looking from one to the other] 

OTTO 
I — I saw the light, and so I came over — from Pethrick's. 

FARNHAM 
[Drily amused] 
Of course you did, Otto. That was the right thing for 
you to do. We have all seen the light, even if we haven't 
all come over from Pethrick's. 

[Patting his shoulder] 
Now take a look around you, little friend, and tell us what 
you see besides the light. 

OTTO 
[Looking from Lucas to Villa] 
Oh — ^good evening. 

[He plays with his hat] 
I saw the light, and so I came over. 
[To Lucas] ^ 
Did you see the light, Phoebus, and did you come over? 

LUCAS 

[Avoiding over-confidence] 
Yes, Otto, I may be said to have seen the light, and to 
have come over — though not from Pethrick's. 

OTTO 
\\Vith a long sigh] 
That's illiuninating, and I thank you kindly. 



ACT III 149 

[He looks at Van Zorn, who smiles and nods] 

Good evening. 

[To Villa] 

Are you sure that I'm not in the way? 

[He makes a puzzled grimace and looks at Farnham, who grins] 

VILLA 

[Laughing nervously] 

We are sure of one thing, Otto, and that is that you are 

not very cordial with your old friends. Aren't you going 

to congratulate me on my engagement to George Lucas? 

We are going to be married — sometime. 

OTTO 

[AJter a stupefied pause] 
Are you? 
[He looks again from one to another, and finally addresses Van 

Zorn] 

I knew this afternoon that something was going to happen. 
Of course it was none of my business, but you — you under- 
stand me, I'm sure. 

[He wipes his forehead with his handkerchief] 

FARNHAM 

\With lingering sarcasm] 
We understand you. Otto. You saw the light and you 
came over. Everything has been explained, and we are 
all going to try to be happy. 

OTTO 
[Looking again from one to anoth'er, and beginning to beam] 
Do you know, Farnham, that I — that I rather like this? 



I50 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 
I'm glad to hear you say so, Otto. We study to please. 

OTTO 
[To Van Zorn, who appears to be mildly amused] 
Do you like this? 

VAN ZORN 
It has my unqualified approval. In addition, it was 
undoubtedly inevitable. 

OTTO 

[With an air of discovery] 
Doesn't that make it all the better? 

VAN ZORN 
I am sure that you have every reason to congratulate 
your friends on their mutual good fortune. 

OTTO 

[After shaking hands, rather suddenly, with Villa and Lucas] 
Farnham, old man, the more I think of this, the better 
I like it. There's a — there's a kind of destiny about it. 

FARNHAM 

[Patting Otto's shoulder] 

Otto, we can always look to you for the right word. 

[Wearily, with a mild trace of venom] 

I've been trying to think of that word "destiny" all the 

evening. 



ACT III 151 

VILLA 

[Giving Farnham her hand] 
And I have been trying to think of something more to 
say to you, Weldon, but somehow I can't just now. So I 
think George had better take me home. And then, I sup- 
pose I'll have a talk with . . . 

[She sighs] 

FARNHAM 

[With an unfeeling grin] 
With Auntie? 

VILLA 

Yes, with Auntie. 

[She breaks into childish laughter] 

Poor Auntie! 

[Pause] 

Well, good night. I won't say good-bye, for that would 
be too solemn. 

FARNHAM 

[Holding her hand] 
Good night. And I hope you will be very happy. 
[Shaking hands with Lucas] 
Good night, George, — and my congratulations. You will 
excuse me if I don't make a speech. 

VILLA 
[To Van Zorn, who comes forward] 
Good night. 
[She gives him her hand and looks at him as if a little frightened] 



152 VAN ZORN 

VAN ZORN 
[Holding her hand] 
Good night. 
[They look into each other^s eyes for some time. She leaves him 
slowly and moves towards the door. He returns to his former 
place by the fire, after speaking with Lucas] 

VILLA 

[While Lucas is shaking hands with Van Zorn] 
Good night, Otto. 

OTTO 

[Still bewildered] 

Good night. I don't think I'll make a speech either. 

On the contrary I may as well go home to my mousy 

garret, light my guttering candle, and work away for a 

while at my popular song. 

VILLA 
[Laughing] 
But you never told me that you were writing a popular 
song. How does it go, and what is it about? 

OTTO 

[Solemnly] 
It's a sad story, and it doesn't go very fast. 
[Doubtfully] 
And it may not be altogether appropriate to the present 
auspicious occasion. 

VILLA 
[Laughing] 
Oh, yes it is — perfectly. How does it go. Otto? 



ACT III 153 

OTTO 

[Scratching his ear thoughtfully] 
I've only got four lines of it. 
[He appears to be reading them from the inside of his hat] 

VILLA 
[Shaking him] 
But how do they go? 

OTTO 

They go like this: 

[He repeats the following lines with comical solemnity, punctuating 
them with sharp pauses] 

Oh, long shall we remember the dark days that followed 
then, 
And how our faith in truth and honor sank; 
For we knew the dear old home would never be the same 
again. 
When Father robbed the baby's little bank. 

LUCAS 
[Laughing 
Can you keep it up to that level. Otto? 

OTTO 
[Scratching his ear] 
I think so. 

\With owlish innocence] 

But of course you understand that there's nothing pro- 
phetic about it — nothing personal. I wouldn't have any 
words of mine cast a shadow on this propitious hour — no, 



154 VAN ZORN 

not even if my friend Farnham were to give me a small 
potion of his Double X Rattlesnake Rye over yonder. 

[He nods towards the bust of Shakespeare] 

I'm delicate, and I may not be with you very long. 

VILLA 

[To Farnham, laughing] 

Before you give it to him, I think it will be safer for me 
to go away. Good night again. 

[Farnham goes with Villa and Lucas to the vestibule, closing 
the door slowly and thoughtfully as he returns. Otto, in 
the meantime, has gone to the cabinet, from the depths of which 
he has produced a bottle of whiskey. Van Zorn, standing 
by the fire, watches Otto with a look of abstracted amusement.] 

FARNHAM 

[Returning 

Well, Otto, you seem to be in a romantic frame of mind 
this evening. You aren't unhappy, are you? 

OTTO 

[Wiping his lips] 
No, I don't complain. 

FARNHAM 

[Patronizingly, to Van Zorn] 

Otto never complains. He eats his crust at sunset, and 
he drains his cup of bitterness without so much as making 
a face. Don't you. Otto? 



ACT III 155 

OTTO 

[Moving towards the door] 
Don't ask me to talk this evening. You have shaken 
me up, and I'm delicate. I may be on my way to eminence, 
or I may be merely another case of the gods seeing other- 
wise. In either event, it will be all right, for the universe 
will take care of us all. Throw on my grave a flower. 
Fare you well, gentlemen both, and peace be with you. 
[Otto lays his hand on his heart, bows deferentially, and dis- 
appears slowly and silently] 

VAN ZORN 
[Smiling faintly] 
You must not undervalue that youth, Farnham. 

FARNHAM 

[Opening the cigar-box] 
I shall never again undervalue anything that has a 

destiny. 

[Holding out the box] 

Here— have a cigar. And for God's sake have it this time 
or you'll make me peevish. 

VAN ZORN 
Thank you. 

[He takes a match from Farnham and lights his cigar] 

FARNHAM 

[Lighting his cigar] 
I suppose Otto has a destiny, hasn't he? 



156 VAN ZORN 



I suppose he has. 



VAN ZORN 
[Drily] 



FARNHAM 

[Giving him a queer look] 

And what about Lucas — and his destiny? 

[He sUs down and invites Van Zorn to take the large chair as 

before] 

VAN ZORN 

[Calmly] 

I don't know that I pretend to be a prophet, 

[Farnham grins] 

but I should venture to say that Lucas's destiny will not 

be altogether a bad one. Being human and not a fool, he 

must in the nature of things have ambitions that he will 

never realize. On the other hand, he will have a great deal 

of happiness, I believe. 

[Looking earnestly at Farnham] 
But neither he nor I can have what you are gomg to have. 

[Farnham begins to beam with approval and anticipation] 
I won't say that you have it already 

[He glances toward the picture and scowls] 
— for that might not be good for you . . . and it might not 
be true. 

FARNHAM 
[Affecting modesty] 
You may be within a gunshot of being right, but this 
day's work doesn't seem to be very promising — that is, 
to the uninitiated. 



ACT III 157 

[Clasping his knee] 
I suppose, however, that you feel a great deal better. 

VAN ZORN 
Why do you say that? 

FARNHAM 
After what you have done? 

VAN ZORN 
[With a frown] 
I have done nothing. I thought that was understood. 

FARNHAM 
[Laughing a little] 
Oh yes, you have, in spite of your cosmic modesty. 
Haven't you cleared the air? Haven't you raised the 
curtain? 

VAN ZORN 

[Apparently after some hesitation] 
Would you talk like that, Farnham, if you knew me a 
little better . . . if you knew, as I know, what I have lost? 

FARNHAM 

\With a trace of his old manner] 
We have things before we lose them. That's old, I know ; 
but I believe it's true. 

VAN ZORN 
[More earnestly] 
Yes, Farnham, it is quite true. And it is most distinctly 
what I have had that I have now lost. 



158 VAN ZORN 

FARNHAM 

[Puzzled] 
Go on. You are talking; I'm only listening. 

VAN ZORN 
[Very distinctly] 
What is your notion of the best thing for a man to do 
when he has lost his beUef that he has something to Hve 
for? 

FARNHAM 
[Pretending not to understand] 
Why, that's easy. Find something new to live for. 

VAN ZORN 
[Getting up and speaking as if half to himself] 
There may be a certain amount of wisdom in that. And 
yet you do not wholly understand me. 

FARNHAM 

[With unconscious emphasis] 
And who the devil does? 

VAN ZORN 

[Looking steadily at FarnhamI 

Do you know what it is, Farnham, that I am facing? 

FARNHAM 
[With a forced laugh] 
You are facing me, for the moment. I'm not much to 
be facing, I grant you; but you might have to face some- 
thing worse. 



ACT III 159 

[With a glance at the picture] 
The deadliest thing about me, at present, seems to be my 
ability to paint pictures like that one over there. 

VAN ZORN 
[Becoming more and more serious] 
I seem to be facing you, Farnham, but the truth is that 
I am facing myself. Whichever way I look now, I look 
forward into a thousand mirrors; and I see myself — only 
myself — Van Zorn. If I had one talent, I should see that; 
and I should thank God for it. But it isn't there. There 
is nothing there but — Van Zorn. 

[He smokes for a time in thought] 
Farnham, do you wonder that there are people in this world 
who howl about property? . . . Yes; my property, if 
you Hke. 

FARNHAM 
[Laughing 
Good! That sounds as if the yeast were beginning to 
work. You needn't worry; you'll find something to live 
for. 

[Getting up and stretching himself comfortably] 
Why don't you begin by tearing down a row of rotten 
tenements — just for the fun of it — and putting up some 
thing — oh, something sanitary and ornamental? Then 
the tired father could come home and cleanse his honest 
hide in a white enameled bath-tub — only of course he 
wouldn't, — and after dinner the entire family could sit 
around a gilded radiator and sing songs by the most 
eminent composers, as Otto would say, of their native 
land. 



l6o VAN ZORN 

[Laughing] 
Hear me, Norma, but don't excite yourself. You are still 
young, and there's going to be no end of time. 

VAN ZORN 
[With a dutiful smile] 
There is something in what you say. 

FARNHAM 

[With easy patronage] 
You bet there is. And then there is always this ''busi- 
ness" of yours: "Van Zorn and Lucas, the eminent 
comedians." Don't you see that, when you look forward 
into your thousand mirrors? 

VAN ZORN 
[Looking down] 
Yes, I see it. The business will succeed. 

FARNHAM 
To be sure. 

[Becoming over-confident] 

Van Zorn, from whom all blessings flow, do you realize 
that we are beaten by Old Hundred? 

VAN ZORN 
[Gravely] 
I don't like your word — beaten. 

FARNHAM 
[Piqued but persistent] 
Neither do I, — but I didn't invent it, and I won't say it 



ACT III l6l 

again. But I should like to ask you one question. When 
you came in this evening, you said something about your 
destiny being a very good destiny; and you said, also, that 
it had encountered — I think that was your word — one 
that was better. Now, if I have a right to ask the question, 
I wish you would be good enough to tell me what the devil 
Lucas was doing this afternoon at Mrs. Lovett's. 

VAN ZORN 
He came to tell Miss Vannevar that he was going 
west, and to say good-bye. 

FARNHAM 
Going west — eh? 

[Excited but satirical] 
And if you hadn't kept Lucas from going west — whatever 
that means — I suppose you would have been contented 
for all time with your — your one interview. 

VAN ZORN 
[After some deliberation] 
If Lucas had gone — west, — you would still have re- 
covered your ring, 

[They look at each other until Farnham shrugs his shoulders and 
looks at the floor] 

When Lucas changed his mind about going, he was not 
in any manner influenced by the ring or by the person who 
wore it. 

[Pause] 

But why say more about that? 



l62 VAN ZORN 

[His last words come rather thickly; he moves away and finally 
remains standing before the picture] 

By the way, Farnham, what are you going to do with 
this picture? 

FARNHAM 
[Drily] 
You speak as if you wanted it yourself. 

VAN ZORN 
Will you give it to me? 

[He is evidently in earnest] 

FARNHAM 

[Cynically] 
Yes, take it. Take everything in sight. 

VAN ZORN 
[Thoughtfully] 
I could almost believe that this picture was painted for 
me — without your knowledge. 

FARNHAM 
[Drily] 
More destiny? 

VAN ZORN 
[Taking a small knife from his pocket] 
I don't know what else to call it. 
[He begins to cut the head and shoulders from the canvas] 

FARNHAM 
[Going quickly towards him] 
Here! What do you think you are doing? 



ACT III 163 

VAN ZORN 
[Cutting diligently] 
I am getting rid of one of the most insincere 

[Cuts] 
and exasperating 

[Cuts] 
bits of charlatanry 

[Cuts] 
that man's eyes have ever looked on. I am doing it partly 
for the good of your artistic conscience, and partly for 
reasons of my own. 

FARNHAM 

[Unable to protest] 
All right, the thing is yours. 

[With cynical observation] 
But I suppose you know that you are disintegrating 
twenty-five hundred dollars worth of high art? 

VAN ZORN 
[Throwing the piece of canvas into the fire] 
Is that your figure? 

FARNHAM 
For the present, yes. And therefore it seems to me that 
your eccentric little ingle-flame over there is just a bit 
extravagant. 

VAN ZORN 
[Punching the burning canvas with the poker] 
I shouldn't worry about that if I were you. We are 
living in an extravagant age. "^ 



l64 VAN ZORN 

[He puts away the poker and stands watching the fire. At length 
he turns to Farnham and speaks with a subdued intensity 
and a new emphasis] 

It is your age, Farnham, and you had better not play with 
it. 

[Slowly] 

If I were you, I should try to meet it half way. 

[Van Zorn throws his cigar into the fire and stands looking at 
the smouldering canvas, holding his hands behind him. Farn- 
ham goes toward him slowly, holds out his hand and looks 
for a moment into Van Zorn's eyes. Van Zorn takes 
his hand J lets it go, and continues to look down into the fire] 

FARNHAM 

[Embarrassed and with evident regret] 

I'm sorry, old fellow, but I didn't quite ... I didn't 
realize that you were quite so much in earnest. 

[Van Zorn makes no reply, but remains looking at the fire. Farn- 
ham sits down on the edge of the window-seat and looks 
thoughtfully at the floor before him. Finally he looks again 
at Van Zorn, and a slow incredulous smile comes over his 
face. Then he shrugs his shoulders, as if he was still in 
doubt about something, and the curtain falls slowly.] 



THE END 



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